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★ Christmas

Christmas: see Santa Claus & Jesus Christ & Winter & Christianity & Holiday & Family & Celebration & Surprise & Toys

Thomas Hardy - George R Sims - Chris Everard - Don Cupitt - Bob Geldof & Midge Ure - Monty Python - Ken Dodd - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow - esias - Irving Berlin - John Betjeman - Clement C Moore - George and Weedon Grossmith - Edward Heath - Blackadder's Christmas Carol TV - Alan Ayckbourn TV - The Christmas No. 1 Story TV - Dr Seuss - J K Rowling - George Carlin - The US Office TV - Francis Pharcellus Church - Tom Flynn - Gamaliel Bradford - Reno Sereno - W J Locker - Associated Press: Christmyth - News articles - Bill Watterson - Dave Barry - Norman Vinent Peale - Jay Leno - Calvin Coolidge -  C S Lewis - Charles Dickens - Graham Greene - G K Chesterton - Banksy - Sylvia Plath - Will Self - Barnard Manning - Phyllis Diller - Dave Barry - William Tecumseh Sherman - Christopher Hitchens - Ellie Goulding - Ice Cube - Shirley Temple Black - Lemony Snicket - Franklin Pierce Adams - Benny Hill - Robert Beckford - Origins of Christianity TV - Brazil 1985 - Roundhead or Cavalier: Which One Are You? TV - Louisa M Alcott - The Royal Family TV - The Office US TV - T S Eliot - Robert Tressell - Rab C Nesbitt TV - Louis Theroux TV -  Tonight TV - Cunk on Christmas TV - Oxford Street Revealed TV -              

 

 

430.  ‘Peace upon Earth!’ was said.  We sing it,

And pay a million priests to bring it.

After two thousand years of mass

We’ve got as far as poison-gas.  (Religion & Peace & Christmas & Priest & Epigram)  Thomas Hardy, Christmas

 

 

95,227.  Here we broached the Christmas barrel,

Pushed up the charred log-ends;

Here we sang the Christmas carol.

And called in friends ...  Thomas Hardy, The House of Hospitalities

 

 

95,239.  Through snowy woods and shady

We went to play a tune

To the lonely manor-lady

By the light of the Christmas moon ... Thomas Hardy, Seen by the Waits

 

 

95,246.  Christmas Eve, and twelve of the clock.

‘Now they are on their knees,’

An elder said as we sat in a flock

By the embers in hearthside ease ...  Thomas Hardy, The Oxen 

 

 

84,208.  It is Christmas Day in the workhouse.  George R Sims, ‘In the Workhouse – Christmas Day’

 

 

3,536.  Deus Sol Invictus, the unconquered sun-god, was the sun-god of the Roman empire.  The cult was created by the Roman emperor Aurelian, and offered prayers and sacrifices to the spirit of the sun.  The spirit of the sun has a name: it is called The Solar Logos, and it is this spirit which the Roman Sol Invictus cult prayed to.  The Romans held a festival on December 25th called Deus Natalis Solis Invicti, the birthday of the unconquered sun.  This festival has been transformed over time and is now called Christmas.  (Sun & Cult & Christmas)  Chris Everard, Spirit World II

 

 

9,432.  Christmas is the Disneyfication of Christianity.  Don Cupitt

 

 

9,433.  Do they know it’s Christmas?  Bob Geldof and Midge Ure, song 1984

 

 

9,434.  It’s Christmas in Heaven, all the children sing.

It’s Christmas in Heaven, how hard those Church bells ring.

It’s Christmas in Heaven, the snow falls from the sky,

But it’s nice and warm, and everyone looks smart and wears a tie.

 

It’s Christmas in Heaven, there’s great films on TV

The Sound of Music twice an hour, and Jaws one, two and three.

There’s gifts for all the family, there’s toys and trees and trains

There’s Sony Walkman, headphone sets, and the latest video games.  (Christmas & Heaven)  Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life 1983 starring Graham Chapman & John Cleese & Terry Gilliam & Erid Idle & Terry Jones & Michael Palin & Carol Cleveland & Patricia Quinn & Mark Holmes & Simon Jones & Matt Frewer & Jane Leeves et al, director Terry Jones, entertainer in Heaven

 

 

9,435.  Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat.

Who’d have thought the Gander would do a thing like that?  Ken Dodd, on stage

 

 

9,436.  I heard the bells on Christmas day; their old familiar carols play.  And wild and sweet the word repeat of peace on earth, good-will to men!  Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

cf.

 

9,437.  I saw the tele on Christmas day; their old familiar repeats play.  And stale and stodge the stench again of forget the Earth, stuff your fellow men!  esias

 

 

9,439.  I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,

Along the lines I use my nose,

Where the crystals glisten,

And children are forbidden

Drop-dead, Bells-sodden in the snow.  esias

 

cf.

 

9,438.  I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,

Just like the ones I used to know,

Where the tree-tops glisten

And children listen

To hear sleigh bells in the snow.  Irving Berlin (Israel Baline) 1888-1989, White Christmas 1942 from Holiday Inn

 

 

9,440.  The bells of waiting Advent ring,

The Tortoise stove is lit again

And lamp-oil light across the night

Has caught the streaks of winter rain

In many a stained-glass window sheen

From Crimson Lake to Hooker’s Green.  John Betjeman, Christmas

 

 

9,444.  And is it true?  And is it true,

The most tremendous tale of all

Seen in a stained-glass window’s hue,

A Baby in an ox-stall?

The maker of the stars and sea

Become a child on Earth for me.  John Betjeman 1906-1984, Christmas 1954

 

 

9,441.  ’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.  (Christmas & Santa Claus)  Clement C Moore, A View from St Nicholas, December 1832

 

 

9,442.  I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent me the insulting Christmas card I received this morning.  George and Weedon Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody 1894

 

 

9,443.  We shall have a harder Christmas than we have known since the war.  Edward Heath

 

 

9,445.  In the reign of good Queen Vic there stood in Dublin Lane in the kindest and loveliest man in all England.  Richard Curtis & Ben Elton, Blackadder’s Christmas Carol 1988 starring Rowan Atkinson & Tony Robinson & Mariam Margoyles & Jim Broadbent & Robbie Coltrane & Miranda Richardson & Stephen Fry et al, director Richard Boden

 

9,446.  This high infant mortality rate is a real devil when it comes to staging quality children’s theatre.  (Christmas & Theatre)  ibid.

 

9,447.  I’m off to the gin shop.  (Christmas & Alcohol)  ibid. 

 

9,448.  Spirit of Christmas.  How do you do?  (Christmas & Spirit)  ibid. 

 

9,449.  Bad guys have all the fun.  (Christmas & Bad)  ibid. 

 

9,450.  Love I should warn you is like a Christmas cracker – one massively disappointing bang and the novelty soon wears off.  (Christmas & Love)  ibid.  Ebeneezer to goddaughter

 

 

9,451.  I’ll tell you what I’ve given them all for Christmas and I’m not ashamed to say so – I’ve given them all a gun.  (Christmas & Gun)  Alan Ayckbourn, Season’s Greetings premiered 1980; BBC production 1986 starring Michael Cashman & Barbara Flynn & Nicky Henson & Anna Massey & Geoffrey Palmer & Peter Vaughan et al, director Michael A Simpson, Harvey to Bernard

 

9,452.  I will not include gratuitous violence and sex, not for anyone.  (Christmas & Sex & Violence)  ibid.

 

9,453.  We don’t want to start Christmas like this, do we?  ibid.  Eddie

 

9,454.  They can’t talk while they’re fighting, can they?  (Christmas & Fight & Talk)  ibid.  Harvey

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