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★ Christmas

What’s it like being in Bethlehem, the place where Christmas began?  I suppose its like seeing Ian Wright at Arsenal.  Stephen Fanshaw, Talk Radio

 

 

Christmas, eh?  I’m all excited, so I am.  I know if you’re poor you shouldn’t get excited … everybody’s entitled to enjoy themselves once in a year.  Rab C Nesbitt: Seasonal Greet, pilot episode BBC 1988

 

I’ve brought you a wee jar of muscles.  ibid.  Rab to Mary

 

The belief in Santa Claus is one of the basic pillars on which our society is found.  ibid.  Sheriff to Rab

 

 

Michael Jackson: I’m dreaming of a white Christmas …  Spitting Image: A Non-Denominational Spitting Image Holiday Special 1987     

 

Alternatively, just put your head in an old Tesco’s bag.  Because I can assure you it’s more fun than going to a Panto.  ibid.

 

Relatives: at Christmas no-one can hear you scream.  Because they’re all deaf … Relatives: coming to you all over Christmas now.  ibid.

 

 

Well after a shaky start we all pulled together and in the end raised nearly $300 for the homeless.  I don’t want to jinx it but I’m feeling pretty good about my friends together.  Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends s1e5: Weird Christmas, BBC 1998

 

 

Tonight  the Christmas presents that never turn up.  The bargains that are not what they seems.  Online scammers that are ripping you off.  And we find out how much personal information we are giving out on social media.  Tonight: Christmas Cons Revealed, ITV 2017

 

Counterfeiting costs the economy £7.3 billion a year.  ibid.

 

 

Christmas buyers beware: the new scams fleecing millions from unsuspecting customers.  And the sophisticated frauds catching us out.  But would you be able to spot them?  Tonight: Christmas Buyers Beware, ITV 2018    

 

Around 10% of toys coming into the UK are fake.  ibid.  

 

 

Buyers beware: Christmas cons revealed.  The real cost of shopping online if you don’t play it safe.  The imitation Christmas presents with dangerous consequences.  And are we fighting a losing battle against the scammers? … The Christmas season is particularly lucrative for fraudsters.  Tonight: Buyer Beware, ITV 2020

 

Hot tubs: it seemed the perfect early Christmas present for Jo and her family … They went to pick up their online purchase at the address they were given …  ibid.

 

Requests to pay by bank transfer can be a sign of a scam.  ibid.

 

A spokesperson for Paypal said, ‘Sellers need to be very wary if buyers ask them to change delivery address.’  ibid.  

 

 

With everyday costs soaring this year’s festive celebrations are looking more expensive than ever.  We look at how you can save cash.  And avoid the Christmas scams that could lose you money.  Tonight: Christmas Saves and Scams, ITV 2022

 

 

How to cut costs this Christmas.  Making your money go further.  And the best value dinner with all the trimmings.  For a merry Christmas that doesn’t blow the budget.  Tonight: Cutting the Cost of Christmas, ITV 2023

 

 

Behind the scenes of our Christmas deliveries.  How is the post coping?  The rise of so-called porch pirates.  And the people delivering Christmas to those who otherwise would go without.  Tonight: Post & Parcels: Getting Christmas Delivered? ITV 2023

 

In the UK we spend an estimated £20 billion on Christmas gifts last year.  And around a third of our shopping was done online.  ibid.

 

 

Christmas is the most magical time of the year.  The one day when you eat chocolate, nuts and sprouts and watch television … apart from all the other days you can do that … Richard Dawkins probably does it.  Cunk on Christmas, BBC 2017

 

Christmas isn’t just tinsel and a long Doctor Who.  ibid.

 

The pagans worshipped nature just like Chris Packham.  ibid. 

 

Jesus: Almost revered back then as Beyoncé is today.  ibid.

 

Mary had to give birth here on the floor like a crack addict … He was born with a big yellow circle round his head.  ibid.

 

Incredibly, the day he was born was only the beginning of Jesus’ life.  ibid.

 

In 1647 Cromwell banned Christmas.  ibid.

 

Like Jesus, Father Christmas is used as a bribe to make children behave.  ibid.

 

Santa is the world’s most popular home intruder.  ibid.

 

Poor people had to celebrate Christmas by coughing and counting their surviving offspring.  ibid.

 

The Bible has been replaced with the Argos catalogue.  ibid.

 

 

Over 12% of shops’ annual sales are made in the festive period.  Oxford Street Revealed s1e10, BBC 2014

 

 

You should be getting drunk and stoned with your friends and family  people that you love.  Trailer Park Boys: Dear Santa Claus, Go Fuck Yourself, Ricky’s Christmas sermon, Netflix 2004  

 

 

Christmas dinner  for some of us it’s heaven.  For others, it’s hell.  Christmas dinner: where we’re expected to get together full of the spirit of good cheer, stuffing our face, and drinking ourselves into oblivion; a time when class, anxiety, and bad temper all bubble up and spew forth over the dinner table.  Timeshift: Stuffed, BBC 2019

 

Christmas dinner – a love-hate relationship we’ve been in for years; a feast that unites but also divides.  ibid.

 

Turkey or goose?  Which side are you on? … Not everyone is convinced of the virtues of the turkey, especially hardened food critics.  ibid.    

 

‘It was the Victorians who established the form and ideas and the content of the Christmas we know.’  ibid.

 

The Nigella of her day Mrs Beeton.  ibid.

 

We are sitting down to a pagan custom which had a Germanic makeover before being transformed into a meal that united a nation.  ibid.

 

 

We think of Christmas as a time for tradition that’s full of age-old customs and symbols.  And yet if you wind back the clock five hundred years to when Henry VIII was on the throne a lot of the things that seem essential to Christmas disappear … What would a genuinely olden times Christmas have looked like?  A Merry Tudor Christmas With Lucy Worsley, BBC 2019

 

Our ancestors partied hard for twelve whole days.  ibid.

 

When Henry VIII came to the throne in 1509, over 90% of his subjects lived outside towns and cities.  ibid.

 

A holiday that’s been enshrined in law for centuries.  ibid.

 

In the Tudor era December 26 wasn’t yet known as Boxing Day, it was the Feast of St Steven.  ibid.

 

A third of the Tudor population lived in poverty.  ibid.

 

 

Harrods: the world’s most luxurious and famous department store. And it’s a Christmas this Rolls-Royce of retail comes into its own.  It’s where the super-rich and super-famous splash their cash.  Inside Harrods at Christmas, Channel 5 2019

 

 

This December in Britain Aldi is expected to take one billion pounds over the festive period alone.  But how did the German discounter become a British festive favourite?  It’s the story of amazing bargains, crazy products and things you can’t not want.  Inside Aldi at Christmas, Channel 5 2019

 

Last December it smashed all records; sales shot up by 10% compared to the previous year.  ibid.

 

It shops all the classics at some of the lowest prices around.  ibid.

 

 

No other city on Earth does Christmas like New York.  And no hotel does Christmas quite like Manhattan’s iconic The Plaza.  Boasting one of the most prestigious addresses in America on the corner of Central Park and 5th Avenue, the world-famous Plaza has welcomed the great and the good.  Christmas in New York: The Plaza, Channel 4 2020

 

The Plaza is fully booked with 400 guests … The Plaza is renowned for its luxurious Christmas.  ibid.

 

As well as the 1,800 guests welcomed each week, The Plaza attracts hundreds of day guests and New Yorkers queue to sample a bit of The Plaza magic.  ibid.

 

Its 282 sumptuous rooms cost a minimum £800 a night over Christmas … The £23,000 a night price-tag.  ibid.    

 

When The Plaza first opened it was decorated with 1,650 crystal chandeliers which has proved irresistible to some souvenir-hunting guests.  ibid. 

 

 

Christmas Eve in New York: a happy time for some people.  The lucky ones.  Last minute shopping.  Presents for the kids.  Hurry home to light the tree and fill stockings.  For the lucky ones.  Others aren’t so lucky.  Kiss of Death 1947 starring Victor Mature & Brian Donlevy & Richard Widmark & Coleen Gray & Taylor Holmes & Howard Smith & Karl Malden & Anthony Ross & Millard Mitchell & J Scott Smart et al, director Henry Hathaway

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