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107,421. The Tory manifesto had some incredibly unpopular policies: the most unpopular one obviously this idea that if you’re a pensioner, you get dementia – you might lose your house. That’s the most unpopular policy you can come up with for pensioners. For pensioners that’s like putting VAT on racism. And it amazes me – pensioners won’t just acquiesce into having a Conservative government they’ll actually go out and vote for it. These people will crawl along the pavement to go and vote themselves out of their own house! (Old Age & Conservative & Vote & Policy) Frankie Boyle’s New World Order I, BBC 2017
108,253. I think it’s amazing the difference in Theresa May since she called that election. Before that election she looked formidable and now she looks like something you’d find in a skip round the back of Jim Henson’s workshop. Frankie Boyle’s New World Order III, BBC 2017
126,689. Theresa May went on a walking holiday in Wales with two security guards – I assume they were there as a kind of suicide watch. (Wales & Suicide & Conservative) Frankie Boyle’s New World Order e2, BBC 2019
137,574. There’s a Muslim paedophile living under your bed. Vote Conservative. (Comedy & Conservative) Frankie Boyle, Mock the Week sketch, cited Utterly Outrageous X-Rated Comedy V: Politics, Channel 5 2021
108,254. The Leaning Tower of Theresa. Benjamin Zephaniah
36,640. The real UK government – the Bilderberg Group and other secret cartels – have groomed the key conservatives over the last few years including David Cameron, George Osborne, William Hague, Kenneth Clarke who are all members of the secretive Bilderberg Group. (Bilderberg Group & Conservative) Richard D Hall, The Richplanet Starship
42,368. There are few genuine conservatives within the US political system, and it is a sign of the intellectual corruption of the age that the honorable term ‘conservatism’ can be appropriated to disguise the advocacy of a powerful, lawless, aggressive and violent state, a welfare state for the rich dedicated to a lunatic form of Keynesian economic intervention that enhances state and private power while mortgaging the country’s future. (Economics & Conservatism & Rich) Noam Chomsky, The Culture of Terrorism
44,862. In a media universe where you’re likely to find right-wing conservatives on ABC, Fox, or NPR, the facts don’t matter; only the framing. And in the hands of biased pundits posing as objective journalists, the framing is always going to be the same: pro-military, pro-government, and pro-war. (Media & Journalism & Conservatism & Right Wing) David Potorti
45,326. A Conservative government is an organised hypocrisy. (Politics & Conservative & Hypocrisy) Benjamin Disraeli, speech House of Commons 17th March 1845
68,275. Conservatism discards Prescription, shrinks from Principle, disavows Progress; having rejected all respect for antiquity, it offers no redress for the present, and makes no preparation for the future. Benjamin Disraeli
49,545. Thinking about profound social change, conservatives always expect disaster, while revolutionaries confidentially expect utopia. Both are wrong. (Revolution & Conservatives & Utopia) Carolyn Heilbrun
49,594. The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution. (Revolution & Conservative) Hannah Arendt, The New Yorker 12 September 1970
59,231. The conversion of agnostic High Tories to the Anglican church is always rather suspect. It seems too pat and predictable, too clearly a matter of politics rather than faith. (Anglicanism & Conservatism) Terry Eagleton
68,259. I do not know which makes a man more conservative – to know nothing but the present, or nothing but the past. John Maynard Keynes, The End of Laissez-Faire 1926
68,260. They offer me neither food nor drink – intellectual nor spiritual consolation ... [Conservatism] leads nowhere; it satisfies no ideal; it conforms to no intellectual standard, it is not safe, or calculated to preserve from the spoilers that degree of civilisation which we have already attained. John Maynard Keynes
68,261. The Conservatives … being by the law of their existence the stupidest party. (Conservative & Stupid) John Stuart Mill
68,270. Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives. (Conservative & Stupid) John Stuart Mill
68,262. We’ll bring in a society that lives within its means. Where public expenditure is cut. And where waste of taxpayers’ money is ruthlessly expunged. Yes we’ll bring in a conservative society. (Conservative & Thatcher) Margaret Thatcher
68,224. There are still people in my party who believe in consensus politics. I regard them as Quislings, as traitors ... I mean it. (Consensus & Conservatives) Margaret Thatcher
64,905. The word ‘conservative’ is used by the BBC as a portmanteau word of abuse for anyone whose views differ from the insufferable, smug, sanctimonious, naive, guilt-ridden, wet, pink orthodoxy of that sunset home of the third-rate minds of that third-rate decade, the 1960s. (BBC & Conservatives) Norman Tebbit
68,263. Loyalty is the Tory’s secret weapon. (Conservative & Loyalty) David Maxwell Fyfe 1900-67
68,264. No amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party ... So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin. Aneurin Bevan 1897-1960
68,265. What is conservatism? Is it not adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried? Abraham Lincoln, speech 27th February 1860
68,266. It is rather like sending your opening batsmen to the crease only for them to find the moment that the first balls are bowled that their bats have been broken before the game by the team captain. (Conservative & Thatcher) Geoffrey Howe, speech House of Commons 13th November 1990
68,267. The time has come to others to consider their own response to the tragic conflict of loyalties with which I have myself wrestled for perhaps too long. (Conservative & Thatcher) ibid.
43,361. Let’s bomb Russia! ... Let’s kick Michael Foot's stick away! (Comedy & Conservative Party & Bomb & Russia) Kenny Everett, Conservative Party rally
cf.
68,269. We couldn’t bomb Russia if we tried. We’ve got one wooden rocket, and the elastic band’s bust. (Conservative & Bomb) Kenny Everett
68,271. So, Mrs Thatcher, how are all the Nazis in the Conservative Party? Spitting Image s1e5, ITV 1984
102,193. Mel Gibson is Harold Macmillan in Mad Mac 3. Spitting Image s3e1, ITV 1986
103,412. I cannot foresee any circumstances … Spitting Image s9e2, Michael Heseltine, ITV 1990
103,414. The Conservative Party: a bunch of snivelling, two-faced, back-stabbing weasels. Spitting Image s9e3, party broadcast, ITV 1990
103,415. It’s me! Your exciting new prime minister. With lots of totally new policies. Spitting Image s9e4, John Major to cabinet
103,459. A lot of people are pointing at you, Mr Heseltine, and saying, Where did this rancour come from? Spitting Image s9e6, Waldon with lisp
103,500. We’re all too anonymous. We need to find some way of telling us apart. Spitting Image s11e1, John Major to Cabinet, ITV 1991
103,733. [to theme music] Norman Lamont … John Major … The Recessionals. Spitting Image s13e6
103,997. Well, John, we’d like to present you with this carriage clock. Spitting Image s16e4, Kenneth Clarke with cabinet to John Major
104,079. The Unexplained: These are the great mysteries of our age. The Conservative Party owes £19 million to the Royal Bank of Scotland. The bank has made no attempt to repossess their headquarters. No-one knows why. Curiously, the chairman of the Royal Bank of Scotland is Lord Young. Spitting Image s17e2, ITV 1994
68,272. The Conservative Party always in time forgives those who were wrong. Indeed often, in time, they forgive those who were right. Iain Macleod, cited The Spectator 21st February 1964
68,273. The differences in the conferences reflect the fundamental difference between the two organisations. The Tory Party is financed by banks and big business. Its economic strategy is to protect profits and its ideology is based therefore on the most relentless legal and moral disciplines for those who do the work. The Labour Party came into being to represent trade unions in parliament. The unions still have the decisive vote on policy, on the National Executive and on finance. The difference between the parties is in the class base of their origins and their support. Employers vote Tory; workers vote Labour. Of course individuals from each section cross over to the other side, but the class differential between the parties is plain for all to see. (Conservative Party & Labour Party & Left Wing) Paul Foot, article November 1991, ‘Will Labour Make a Difference?’