Jesus: I have visited Albion. I’ve walked across the River of Mersey.
Lister: All those old prams; it’s not hard, is it? Red Dwarf s10e3: Lemons
Do you know if he’s completed that sheaf of health and safety forms yet? Red Dwarf s10e4: Entangled, Rimmer to Kryten
Mr Lister gambled you in a poker game. ibid. Kryten to Rimmer
Is something wrong, sir? Something getting you down? Is it that you’re the last human being alive with no life, no family, no future, no prospects, no hope? Red Dwarf s10e5: Dear Dave, Kryten
Rimmer: We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Apart from pain. And maybe humiliation and obviously death. And failure. But apart from fear, pain and humiliation, failure and the unknown and death we have nothing to fear but fear itself. Who’s with me? Red Dwarf s10e6: The Beginning, Kryten
Exponoids are unemotional, cold-hearted psychopaths: they will have no hesitation using hackneyed old clichés if it suits their purpose. Red Dwarf s11e1: Twentica, Kryten, BBC 2016
I love dust. After fluff it’s my all-time favourite dirt … Red Dwarf s11e2: Samsara, message on screen, Kryten
You get more choice than an Irish barber’s. Red Dwarf s11e3: Give and Take, Rimmer
You have a problem with your kidneys, sir … You don’t have any. ibid. Kryten
I am now fluent in all the deceptive arts – I could work for FIFA. ibid.
She had a wooden head and was afraid of forks. There was no future in it. Red Dwarf s11e4: Officer Rimmer
The Nautilus is bio-printing its crew, which was fashionable in the twenty-fourth century. ibid.
Well just recently I’ve started thinking about the universe, about how cosmic inflation at the time of the Big Bang means it’s constantly expanding until one day it’s going to burst … What is the point of cleaning above eye level? If one day the universe is going to explode, who cares if the oven is a bit gunky? Red Dwarf s11e5: Krysis, Kryten
All the Blackberrys go to Silicon Hell. ibid.
Vampire gelphs to you and me. Red Dwarf s11e6: Can of Worms, Kryten
At the end of the 23rd century America attempted to bring peace to the world by asking every nation on Earth to sign a peace treaty; any nation that refused, they invaded. Red Dwarf s12e1: Cured, BBC 2017
These are some of the most damaged deranged humans who ever lived; they’re worse than the 1970s’ Leeds United team. ibid.
We are the Mechanoid Inter-Galactic Liberation Front [MILF] Red Dwarf s12e2: Siliconia
I humbly name this moon – Rimmer. Red Dwarf s12e3: Timewave, Rimmer
I love yellow alerts – call me geeky, if you like … Red Dwarf s12e4: Mechocracy, Rimmer
Sir, you’ve got nothing, no life, no partner, no future, you’re so easy to shop for. Red Dwarf s12e5: M-Corp, Kryten to Lister on Lister’s birthday
I hate people who use the word anomaly. Red Dwarf s12e6: Skipper, Rimmer
Rozzer: The manager fell dead at the hotel. Dr Fouchet thinks he was poisoned. A Night in Casablanca 1942 starring Marx Brothers & Charles Drake & Louis Collier & Lisette Verea & Sig Ruman & Lewis Russell & Dan Seymour et al, director Archi Mayo
When I managed to get back to the plane, the treasure was gone. ibid. pilot forced to transport Nazi treasure
Groucho admires camel: So this is you wife, eh? ibid.
Jim Davidson. For two decades you couldn’t get him off the telly. He was Britain’s most unlikely family entertainer. From the adult humour of South London pubs to the corridors of power at the BBC, he was a likely lad who started with nothing, won it all, lost it all … The Cancellation of Jim Davidson aka Jim Davidson: The Rise & Fall of Mr Saturday Night, Channel 5 2024
He was mixing with the stars of the London comedy circuit. ibid.
He auditioned for the ITV talent show Opportunity Knocks. ibid.
Jim’s playboy lifestyle was escalating fast. ibid.
‘There was a whole new wave of comedy that was happening.’ ibid. Laurie Mansfield, manager and friend
Big Break [quiz + snooker] was a huge hit. ibid.
By Christmas 1993 Jim was a celebrated TV host, earning up to £500,000 a year and entertaining audiences of 14 million a week. He was the father of 5 kids and married to his 4th wife. ibid.
The Generation Game: ‘It was the best time of my life.’ ibid. Jim
News of Jim’s charity was spreading. ibid.
‘And ironically, when the BBC now show and did The Best of the Generation Game I’m not mentioned, even though I did it for, I don’t know, four years longer than Larry Granson. I’m airbrushed.’ ibid.
In March 2013 Jim was rearrested when further historic allegations emerged. ibid.
Celebrity Big Brother: But had Jim done enough to win the nation’s vote?
Benny Hill was one of Britain’s most popular entertainers ever. His brand of rique slapstick dominated prime time TV for nearly two decades. The Cancellation of Benny Hill, Channel 5 2025
But is he the victim of modern sensibilities or should some of this stuff have never been broadcast in the first place. ibid.
By 1989 Benny Hill was a man out of time. ibid.
Some of Benny’s sketches would be unacceptable by today’s standards. ibid.
He was the first British TV comedian to crack the states. ibid.
‘He was a loner by choice. He liked his own company.’ ibid. comment
Hill’s Angels: The routines got even more risque. ibid.
After almost 34 years as a fixture on British TV screens the Benny Hill Show was cancelled. ibid.