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★ Catholic & Catholicism (II)

We were starting to make assumptions about Edgar Davidson and his family as being involved in Sister Cathy’s murder; a whole new family showed up on our anonymous tip-line: that was the Schmidt family … she felt like her uncle had been involved in Cathy’s murder.  The Keepers s1e5: The Suspects, Hoskins

 

 

Her skirt was pulled up.  The chest was bare.  The person had obviously been severely assaulted.  Closer examination revealed a big defect in the side of the head.  The Keepers s1e6: The Web, Werner Spitz, forensic pathologist  

 

There were virtually no priests in Baltimore that had been found guilty of sex abuse crimes despite the archdiocese list that had about fifty names on it.  ibid.  Schaub

 

 

The Freedom of Information Act requests by Abbie and the Malecki family remain unanswered.  The Keepers s1e7: The Conclusion   

 

Over the last 12 years, a bill to extend the civil Statute of Limitations for child sex abuse claims was proposed six times in the Maryland General Assembly.  Each time it failed.  ibid.

 

 

A year ago when the cardinals descended on Rome to elect a new pope they all understood what was at stake.  This was one of the shortest conclaves ever.  On the evening of the next day white smoke from the chimney of the Sistine chapel confirmed that 1.2 billion Catholics had a new pope.  Frontline: Secrets of the Vatican, PBS 2014

 

He knew a lot about filth in the Church.  For 24 years as prefect of the congregation of the doctrine of the faith Cardinal Ratzinger had been responsible for matters of theology and discipline; many serious cases of priestly abuse crossed his desk.  ibid.

 

He [Ratzinger] was in a bind: John-Paul’s public celebration of [Father Marcial] Maciel made it very difficult for him to take action, and all the while Maciel’s activities went unchecked.  ibid.  

 

So when the clergy’s sexual abuse scandal exploded into an international crisis on his watch, Pope Benedict seemed unable to take charge.  ibid.

 

Benedict was leaving behind him a Church in crisis.  ibid.

 

 

Large scale child abduction: the disquieting end of a totalitarian system with the blessing of the Catholic church.  The Truth About Franco: Spain’s Forgotten Dictator III: Zero Hour, Netflix 2017 

 

 

In Spain Opus Dei were especially powerful.  The Truth About Franco: Spain’s Forgotten Dictator IV: The Leaden Age

 

 

It’s great being a priest, isn’t it, Ted?  Father Ted s1e1: Good Luck, Father Ted, Dougal, Channel 4 1995

 

Oh wait till I tell you, Ted.  Funland’s coming to Craggy Island.  It’ll be here Saturday.  ibid.  Dougal    

 

[awakes] How did that gobshite get on the television?  ibid.   

 

[gets in bed] Dougal: Did you ever want to get into television yourself, Ted?

 

Ah no I wouldn’t be interested in that kind of thing really.  ibid.

 

Tom: Father, I’ve killed a man.

 

Ted: Well, Tom, I’ll have to talk to you about that later.  I’m doing an interview for television!  ibid.    

 

Heaven, Hell and everlasting life and all that – you’re not meant to take it seriously, Ted.  ibid.  Dougal

 

So God, does He really exist?  I mean, who knows?  I don’t know.  I mean personally I don’t even believe in organised religion.  ibid.  Dougal’s television interview

 

 

Ted: Three wishes?  I don’t know really.  Well I suppose the first thing would be world peace.  And then maybe an end to hunger.  And er [dreams of being disco king] … more money for hospitals, that kind of thing.  Father Ted s1e2: Entertaining Father Stone

 

Are you sure you won’t have some tea, Paul?

 

No, I’m fine.  ibid.  

 

Ted: Now, Dougal, don’t over-react … It’s Father Stone ... Get up … I know.  I tried but it’s like talking to a wall with a moustache.  Those awful protracted silences.  ibid. 

 

Craggy Island Crazy Golf.  £1.  Members 50p.  ibid.  sign blown over by downpour

 

Ted: Crazy golf, Paul, not exactly the US Masters … Will you have a go, Paul?  It’s great fun, isn’t it, Douglas.  Give it a real go .  Go on it’s even easier with the windmill’s not in the way.  There you go.  Give it a real go, what’s the worse thing that can happen?

 

[Paul holds golfing iron aloft & gets hit by lightning] …  ibid.  

 

I asked Him to intervene in some way.  But this is a bit much.  ibid.  Ted to Dougal after Father Stone struck by lightning on Crazy Golf course

 

We think it’s a combination of Babysham and Harpic.  ibid.  hospital doctor  

 

He worships you, Father.  He comes back from Craggy Island and he’s counting the days till he can go back again.  He has a chart and he crosses out the days …  ibid.  Paul’s mother to Father Ted in hospital

 

Old women are closer to God than we’ll ever be.  They get to that age and they don’t need the operator any more.  They’ve got the direct line.  ibid.  Father Ted to Dougal

 

 

[Ted playing Cluedo]: I must say, I miss the noise and the lights and the whole buzz of the big city.  

 

Brother Hernandez: You were in Wexford, weren’t you?  Father Ted s1e3: The Passion of St Tibulus      

 

How’s the son?  ibid.  Dougal to Bishop Brennan

 

You went to Las Vegas while that poor child was meant to be in Lourdes.  ibid.  Bishop Brennan to Ted

 

 

The first all-priests’ Stars in Their Eyes Look-alike Competition I thought I had a chance of winning.  Father Ted s1e4: Competition Time

 

Ted: The Pope is God’s representative on Earth, Dougal.

 

Dougal: You’d think he’d be taller.  ibid.

 

 

I didn’t think you’d like that sort of thing.  I read a bit of one of them once.  God, I couldn’t finish it  the language!  Unbelievable.  It’s a bit much for me, Father  feck this and feck that.  Ya big bastard.  Oh dreadful language.  Ya big hairy arse, you big fecker.  Fierce stuff.  And of course the F word, Father … Bastard this and bastard that.  You can’t move for the bastards in her novels.  It’s wall to wall bastards.  Father Ted s1e5: And God Created Woman, Mrs Doyle to Ted

 

 

So then you’re a nun …  Father Ted s1e6: Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest, Dougal’s conversation

 

The holy stone was up there [Fermanagh] but it wasn’t doing great business.  ibid.  Ted

 

Imagine the damage floor polish would do you.  ibid.  Ted

 

He’s very definitely dead.  ibid.  Nun to Ted & Dougal, re Jack

 

Half a million pounds.  ibid.  Ted reads Jack’s will

 

The first priest to denounce The Beatles.  ibid.  Dougal, re Jack

 

Do you believe in an afterlife?  Oh, I wish I had your faith, Ted.  ibid.  Dougal to Ted

 

Apparently not.  The floor polish brought about all the symptoms of death such as no heartbeat, rigor mortis, decomposition.  But he was lucky  the effects just wore off him.  ibid.  Ted to Dougal

 

 

I wouldn’t know, Ted, ya big bollocks.  Father Ted s2e1: Hell, Dougal

 

Didn’t our Lord himself on the cross pause for a nice cup of tea before giving himself up for the world?  ibid.  Mrs Doyle

 

 

I think we can get something.  Under the rules of the diocese, we’re allowed a raffle prize every couple of years … I’ve been looking up the records and the island hasn’t been given anything to raffle since those two bags of coal in 1964.  I think we’re entitled under the rules of the diocese … What if we organised the raffle so that we won it?  Then we could bring the car back.  It wouldn’t be cheating really …  Father Ted s2e2: Think Fast, Father Ted, Ted

 

 

Gary Lineker’s Book of Ghost Stories.  Father Ted s2e3: Tentacles of Doom, Dougal’s book

 

That’s the great thing about Catholicism – it’s so vague and nobody really knows what it’s all about.  ibid.  Ted

 

The whole religion thing – I just don’t buy it.  ibid.  Bishop sees the light

 

 

God, Ted, I heard about those cults – everyone dressing in black and saying Our Lord’s going to come back and judge us all.  Father Ted s2e4: Old Grey Whistle Theft, Dougal

 

 

Ted, do you mind if I put on my record?  I’ve got Eurosong fever, Ted.  Father Ted s2e5: A Song for Europe, Dougal 

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