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81,395.  We Can Prove The Book of Mormon Is Not True.

 

The Dodo [Jeffrey Holland] the other day declared dolorously the Book of Mormon was uncontestable, of divine origin, crafted without fault, and a construct without equal.  They make the same claims for the Koran of course.  But we may ask – where do Mormons keep their literary critical faculty?  The Book of Mormon is an insipid dreadful doleful dollop of donkey-doo-doos crammed with clichés, full of loose ends, improbabilities, stories with a remarkable similarity to those in the Bible, whole chapters of Isaias ripped, needless repetition on seemingly gold plates where space is at a premium, and fails the first hurdle of a test of the English language – Joseph Smith and the golden bible company – are limited by their sense of the English language disguising the faults in mock-seventeenth century clichés.  We know more or less what books were loaded in the local library, to which manuscripts they had access, who influenced to a high degree of probability which sections.  I would call brothers and sisters from this Board to appear for the prosecution and the evidence for the prosecution would go on for weeks.  So let’s play the dodo-deterrent guide to randomly spotting the plagiarism, the oddism, the anachronism, tautology, repetition, or just plain insanity when Brother Joseph loses it.  Uncontestable?  You’re having a Turkish bath.  Here’s verses at random awash with tautology, plagiarism ... For the most perfect course read a cluster-frack of the English language.  (see end of section for full directory of linguistic problems)

 

1)  I Nephi 1:1: I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.

 

See I Corinthians 4:1 – The mysteries of God

 

Why does Nephi feel the need to boast of goodly parents?  How does Nephi know he is highly favoured of the Lord?  Who instructed Nephi in the mysteries of God?  ‘Therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days’ is circumlocution and a waste of gold plate CIRCUMLOCUTION PLAGIARISM IMPROBABILITY

 

2)  I Nephi 1:14: And it came to pass that when my father had read and seen many great and marvelous things, he did exclaim many things unto the Lord; such as: Great and marvelous are thy works, O Lord God Almighty!  Thy throne is high in the heavens, and thy power, and goodness, and mercy are over all the inhabitants of the earth, and, because thou art merciful, thou wilt not suffer those who come unto thee that they shall perish!

 

See Revelation 15:3 – Great and Marvelous are thy works, Lord God Almighty.  CIRCUMLOCUTION PLAGIARISM TAUTOLOGY

 

3)  I Nephi 2:24: And if it so be that they rebel against me, they shall be a scourge unto thy seed, to stir them up in the ways of remembrance.

 

See 2 Peter 1:13: A fascist intergalactic empire-building God does away with free agency and can’t resist a good cursing.  CIRCUMLOCUTION PLAGIARISM FASCIST GOD

 

4)  I Nephi 4:13: Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes.  It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief.

 

See John 11:50 – It is expedient for us, that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation perish not.

 

God’s first advice to Nephi is that Nephi should lop the dude’s head off, and Nephi raid the pad for its gold loot.  God does a nice line in murder for ‘righteous purposes’.  CIRCUMLOCUTION PLAGIARISM FASCIST GOD – Is God a scrap-metal merchant with a penchant for murder?

 

5)  I Nephi 15:15: And then at that day will they not rejoice and give praise unto their everlasting God, their rock and their salvation?  Yea, at that day, will they not receive the strength and nourishment from the true vine?  Yea, will they not come unto the true fold of God?

 

See John 15:1

 

God is mixing his metaphors!

 

6)  I Nephi 20:1: Hearken and hear this, O house of Jacob, who are called by the name of Israel, and are come forth out of the waters of Judah, or out of the waters of baptism, who swear by the name of the Lord, and make mention of the God of Israel, yet they swear not in truth nor in righteousness.

 

Joseph Smith lifts two chapters from Isaiah – 48 & 49. Baptism, eh?  Kinky.

 

7)  II Nephi 1:14: Awake! and arise from the dust, and hear the words of a trembling parent, whose limbs ye must soon lay down in the cold and silent grave, from whence no traveler can return; a few more days and I go the way of all the earth.

 

See Hamlet III i: The undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveller returns – multiple plagiarisms

 

8)  II Nephi 9:18: But, behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.

 

See Hebrews 12:2 & Matthew 25:34 & John 15:11

 

9)  II Nephi 31:18: And then are ye in this strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life; yea, ye have entered in by the gate; ye have done according to the commandments of the Father and the Son; and ye have received the Holy Ghost, which witnesses of the Father and the Son, unto the fulfilling of the promise which he hath made, that if ye entered in by the way ye should receive.

 

See Matthew 7:14: PLAGIARISM NEW TESTAMENT NOT YET WRITTEN

 

10)  Helaman 14:25: And many graves shall be opened, and shall yield up many of their dead; and many saints shall appear unto many.

 

See Matthew 27:52-53 Michael Jackson’s Thriller video foreseen by Joseph Smith

 

11)  Jarom 1:8: And we multiplied exceedingly, and spread upon the face of the land, and became exceedingly rich in gold, and in silver, and in precious things, and in fine workmanship of wood, in buildings, and in machinery, and also in iron and copper, and brass and steel, making all manner of tools of every kind to till the ground, and weapons of war – yea, the sharp pointed arrow, and the quiver, and the dart, and the javelin, and all preparations for war.

 

No evidence of these civilisations!

 

12)  Mosiah 4:4: And king Benjamin again opened his mouth and began to speak unto them, saying: My friends and my brethren, my kindred and my people, I would again call your attention, that ye may hear and understand the remainder of my words which I shall speak unto you.

 

This is a terrible tautology!

 

13)  Ether 9:19: And they also had horses, and asses, and there were elephants, and cureloms, and cumoms; all of which were useful unto man, and more especially the elephants, and cureloms, and cumoms.

 

No horses, elephants, cureloms and cumoms found!  ANACHRONISMS

 

14)  Yea, they are grasped with death, and hell; and death, and hell, and the devil, and all that have been seized therewith must stand before the throne of God, and be judged according to their works, from whence they must go into the place prepared for them, even a lake of fire and brimstone, which is endless torment.  II Nephi 28:23

 

There goes that fascist God again!

 

15)  And it came to pass that the Lord told me whither I should go to find ore, that I might make tools.

 

How did Nephi extract the ore without tools?

 

16)  I Nephi 18:13: Wherefore, they knew not whither they should steer the ship, insomuch that there arose a great storm, yea, a great and terrible tempest, and we were driven back upon the waters for the space of three days; and they began to be frightened exceedingly lest they should be drowned in the sea; nevertheless they did not loose me.

 

Smith recreates Shakespeare’s The Tempest!

 

17)  I Nephi 22:20: And the Lord will surely prepare a way for his people, unto the fulfilling of the words of Moses, which he spake, saying: A prophet shall the Lord your God raise up unto you, like unto me; him shall ye hear in all things whatsoever he shall say unto you.  And it shall come to pass that all those who will not hear that prophet shall be cut off from among the people.

 

See Acts 3:22-23: This verse quotes Peter’s paraphrase of Deuteronomy rather than the original Old Testament verses!

 

18)  II Nephi 5:16: And I, Nephi, did build a temple; and I did construct it after the manner of the temple of Solomon save it were not built of so many precious things; for they were not to be found upon the land, wherefore, it could not be built like unto Solomon’s temple.  But the manner of the construction was like unto the temple of Solomon; and the workmanship thereof was exceedingly fine.

 

Half a dozen men build a temple like unto Solomon!  Respect!

 

19)  II Nephi 10:10: But behold, this land, said God, shall be a land of thine inheritance, and the Gentiles shall be blessed upon the land.

 

God favours one country over the others!  What does blessed mean?  That doesn't sound much like a God.  The Book of Mormon assumes the Bible theme of a God playing the old game of fascists and favourites.

 

20)  Mosiah 10:20: And it came to pass that we did drive them again out of our land; and we slew them with a great slaughter, even so many that we did not number them.

 

Silly hyperbole and tautology!

 

21)  Alma 18:43: And it came to pass that his servants took him and carried him in unto his wife, and laid him upon a bed; and he lay as if he were dead for the space of two days and two nights; and his wife, and his sons, and his daughters mourned over him, after the manner of the Lamanites, greatly lamenting his loss.

 

Laid low as if dead is a terrible cliché!

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