Monty Python’s Flying Circus TV - Penn & Teller: Bullshit! TV - Trailer Park Boys TV - Stacey Dooley TV - The Smashing Machine: Mark Kerr Story TV - Too Young to Die TV - Hero 2002 - Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 2019 - Seven Samurai 1954 - A Bittersweet Life 2005 - Oldboy 2003 - Kill Bill I 2003 - Kill Bill II 2004 - 13 Assassins 2010 - Sanjuro 1962 - Street Mobster 1972 - Dragnet Girl 1933 - Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon 2000 - Tokyo Drifter 1966 - Enter the Dragon 1973 - The Warrior’s Way 2010 - The Last of the Samurai 2003 - The Chaser 2008 - Banruku 2010 - The Yukuza 1974 - Brick Mansions 2014 - The Man With the Iron Fists 2012 - Revenge of the Green Dragons 2014 - Cyborg 1989 - Sonatine 1993 - Gozu 2003 -
How to defend yourself against anyone who attacks you armed with a piece of fresh fruit. Monty Python’s Flying Circus s1e4, BBC 1969
So even without the chi and the self-confidence jive martial arts are bullshit. Penn & Teller, Bullshit! s8e3: Martial Arts, Showtime 2010
What’s the Japanese word for suckers? ibid.
Staying and fighting is almost always the worst choice. ibid.
Students average four injuries a year. ibid.
Hey, Bubs … I heard you’re gonna be in a Ninja movie?
Bubbles: It’s not official yet … I’ve seen every Ninja movie in history. Trailer Park Boys: Drunk, High & Unemployed, Netflix 2015
Mixed martial arts or cage fighting is one of the fastest growing sports in Britain. But with the number of life-altering injuries, and even fatalities, it’s also one of the most controversial. With the rise of superstars like Colin McGregor, there has been a grass roots surge in the sport, especially amongst children. Kids as young as four are fighting in gyms across the country. Stacey Dooley Sleeps Over s1e3: Cage Fighting Kid
A family who think their 14-years-old son has what it takes to get to the very top of the sport. ibid.
‘I love the sport. I follow it, yeah.’ ibid.
Unlike the adult division, punches to the head are forbidden. ibid.
The second the bell rings you can just look at some people and just tell they’re scared to death. The Smashing Machine: Mark Kerr Story, Kerr, 2002
I had this animal instinct that just took over. ibid.
The intention of mixed martial arts was to get all the different fighting disciplines facing off against each other and see which one was best. ibid. Eddie Goldman
‘Kerr is an absolute monster.’ ibid. first fight commentary
‘More people were watching UFC in the mid-’90s than were watching boxing.’ ibid. Eddie Goldman
‘Pride fighting championship came along in ’97.’ ibid.
I met some people who would go pharmaceutical shopping in Mexico. ibid. Kerr
I’ve never lost a fight. ibid.
Like having 12,000 people out there cheering for you. That’s orgasmic. ibid.
When everybody else around me can see how fucked up you are but you can’t see yourself. ibid.
‘Mark had overdosed on painkillers.’ ibid. colleague
Mark withdraws from the November fight and checks into a twenty-eight-day drug rehabilitation program. ibid. caption
‘So I got my stuff and I left.’ ibid. Mark’s girlfriend
He blurred the boundaries between Fiction and Reality. He made only one single Hollywood film and yet he revolutionised the action-film genre. A martial artist whose principle asset was his body. He braved prejudice and racism, and made it from Chinese underdog to the first Asiatic world star. When he died in 1973 at the age of 32, millions of people around the world mourned the passing of Bruce Lee, the star and the man. Too Young to Die s1e9: Bruce Lee, Sky Arts 2015
Bruce Lee and his legacy are now part of our culture. ibid.
Before China was one great country, it was divided into seven warring states. In the Kingdom of Qin was a ruthless ruler. He had a vision – to unite the land, to put an end, once and for all, to war. Hero 2002 starring Jet Li & Tony Leung & Maggie Cheung & Chen Daoming & Donnie Yen & Zhang Ziyi et al, director Zhang Yimou, opening caption
Martial arts and music share the same principles. Both wrestle with complex chords and rare melodies. ibid. hero in sword fight
How swift your sword is. ibid. Snow
So you gotta do this playacting pattycake version. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood 2019 starring Leonardo diCaprio & Brad Pitt & Margot Robbie & Emile Hirsch & Margaret Qualley & Timothy Olyphant & Julia Butters & Austin Butler & Dakota Fanning & Bruce Dern & Mike Moh & Luke Perry & Damian Lewis & Al Pacino et al, director Quentin Tarantino, Bruce Lee
I unleash all my power. I kill people. ibid.
You’re a little man with a big mouth and a big chip, and I think you should be embarrassed to suggest you’d be anything more than a stain on the seat of Cassius Clay’s trunks. ibid. Cliff
Nobody beat the shit out of Bruce. It was a friendly contest. He barely touched me. ibid. Bruce Lee
In the 16th century, during the Civil Wars, an endless cycle of conflict left the countryside overrun by bandits. Seven Samurai 1954 starring Tikashi Shimura & Isao Kimura & Yoshio Inaba & Daisuke Kato & Minoru Chiaki & Seiji Miyaguchi & Toshiro Mifune & Bokuzen Hidari & Kamatari Fujiwara & Keiko Tsushima & Yoshio Tsuchiya et al, director Akira Kurosawa, opening caption
Is there no God to protect us? ibid. village woman
We’ll fight. ibid. old man
Defence is more difficult than offence. ibid. #1 Samurai
This job affords no stipend and no reward. ibid.
There’s no creature on earth as wily as a farmer. ibid. mad Samurai
I want to die quickly. I want to die soon. And leave this suffering behind. But you know, the other world may be just as full of suffering as this one. ibid. old woman
If you only think of yourself, you’ll only destroy yourself. ibid. #1 Samurai
In the end, we lost this battle too. ibid. #1 Samurai
So, you’re an enforcer? A Bittersweet Life 2005 starring Lee Byung-hun & Kim Yeong-cheol & Shin Min-ah & Hwang Jung-min & Kim Roi-ha & Jin Goo & Kee Ki-young & Oh Dal-su & Kim Hae-hon & Eric Mun& Jeon Gook-hwan et al, director Kim Jee-woon, her to him
You know who I’m calling, don’t you? Any last words? ibid. him to her
Life is about suffering – don’t you know that? ibid. villain to hero
I won’t ask you to let me go again. Just tell me why I’m here please. I have a right to know why. God, I’ve already been locked in here for two months. Oldboy 2003 starring Choi Min-sik & Yoo Ji-tae & Kang Hye-jung & Kim Byeong-ok & Oh Tae-kyung & Yoo Yeon-seok & Woo Il-han & Yoon Jim-seo & Oh Dal-su et al, director Park Chan-wook, Oh Dae-su
If they had told me then it would be 15 years, would it have been easier to endure or harder? ibid.
My home is gone. I cannot call my friends or relatives because they say I murdered my wife. I am a fugitive. ibid.
Do you find me sadistic? Kill Bill volume I 2003 starring Uma Therman & David Carradine & Lucy Liu & Michael Madsen & Daryl Hannah & Sonny Chiba & Vivica A Fox & Gordon Liu & Julie Dreyfus et al, director Quentin Tarantino, opening scene, Bill over Una
For those regarded as warriors: when engaged in combat the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior’s only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in the way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha himself. The truth lies at the heart of the art of combat. ibid. Japanese captions & commentary
It’s a goddamn massacre, Pop. He wiped out the whole wedding party execution style. Nine dead bodies. ibid. rozzer
As I lay in the back of Buck’s truck trying to will my limbs out of entropy, I could see the faces of the cunts who did this to me. And the dicks responsible. Members all of the deadly Viper Assassination Squad. ibid.
Your instrument is quite impressive. ibid. Viper to Una
Silly Caucasian girl likes to play with Samurai swords. ibid.
That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword. ibid.
A roaring rampage of revenge. I roared. And I rampaged. And I got bloody satisfaction. Kill Bill II 2004 starring Uma Thurman & David Carradine & Lucy Lui & Daryl Hannah & Gordon Lui & Michael Madsen & Vivica A Fox et al, director Quentin Tarantino
I am gonna kill Bill. ibid.
Bride: You want to come to the wedding? ibid.