The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honourable, but still primitive, legends which are nevertheless pretty childish. No interpretation no matter how subtle can (for me) change this. Albert Einstein, letter to Eric Gutkind, January 1954
I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation ... who is but a reflection of human frailty. Albert Einstein
Why do you write to me, ‘God should punish the English’? I have no close connection to either one or the other. I see only with deep regret that God punishes so many of His children for their numerous stupidities, for which only He Himself can be held responsible; in my opinion, only His non-existence could excuse Him. Albert Einstein, letter to Edgar Meyer January 1915
My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind. Albert Einstein
What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world. Albert Einstein, to Ernst Straus
Religion is God’s attempt to communicate with the profoundly mentally retarded. Author unknown
God has blessed us so much I can’t afford to feed you any more. Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life 1983 starring Graham Chapman & John Cleese & Terry Gilliam & Eric Idle & Michael Palin & Terry Jones & Carol Cleveland & Patricia Quinn & Mark Holmes & Simon Jones & Matt Frewer & Jane Leeves et al, director Terry Jones, Catholic father to children
School Chaplain: Oh Lord. Ooh you are so big. So absolutely huge. Gosh we’re all really impressed down here I can tell you. Forgive us, O Lord, for this our dreadful toadying. But you’re so strong and well just so super. Amen. ibid.
Chaplain [sings]: Oh Lord please don’t burn us. Don’t grill or toast your flock. Don’t put us on the barbecue. Or simmer us in stock. Don’t braise or bake or boil us. Or stir-fry us in a wok. Oh please don’t lightly poach us. Or baste us with hot fat. Don’t fricassee or roast us. Or boil us in a vat. And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, in a Rotissomat. ibid.
You couldn’t meet a nicer bloke than God
He really is a thoroughly good guy
He doesn’t ever ring you
When you are in the bath
And if your haircut’s lousy
He never ever laughs. Spitting Image s2e2, Conservative Party at prayer, ITV 1985
This week only in the News of the World … Read all about God’s most intimate secrets. How he hid the secret from even his closest friends. Why he moved in mysterious ways. Plus the truth about the embarrassing Wogan interview. Spitting Image s11e1, ITV 1991
God doesn’t exist, so I guess nobody loves you. Author unknown
God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which His shadow will be shown. Friedrich Nietzsche
Which is it, is man one of God’s blunders or is God one of man’s? Friedrich Nietzsche
I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time. Friedrich Nietzsche
God is a thought who makes crooked all that is straight. Friedrich Nietzsche
There cannot be a God because if there were one, I could not believe that I was not He. Friedrich Nietzsche
By breaking one main concept out of Christianity, the faith in God, one breaks the whole: nothing necessary remains in one’s hands. Friedrich Nietzsche
I should only believe in a God that would know how to dance. Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra
A subject for a great poet would be God’s boredom after the seventh day of creation. Friedrich Nietzsche
There is not enough love and goodness in the world to permit giving any of it away to imaginary beings. Friedrich Nietzsche
God is dead. Friedrich Nietzsche
cf.
Nietzsche is dead. GOD – Anon, 29th March 2003, variations
If a God made this world then I would not like to be the God. Its misery and distress would break my heart. Arthur Schopenhauer
Is God willing to prevent evil but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is God both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? Epicurus
God’s power is infinite. Whatever he wills is executed. But neither man nor any other animal is happy. Therefore he does not will their happiness. Epicurus’s old questions are yet unanswered. David Hume
6How is it that any major religion has looked at science and concluded, ‘This is better than we thought’? The universe is much bigger than our prophets said, grander, more subtle, more elegant. ‘No, no, no!’ they say, ‘My God is a little god and I want him to stay that way.’ A religion old or new that stressed the magnificence of the universe as revealed by modern science might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence and awe hardly tapped by the conventional faiths. Professor Carl Sagan
The idea that God is an oversized white male with a flowing beard who sits in the sky and tallies the fall of every sparrow is ludicrous. But if by God one means the set of physical laws that govern the universe, then clearly there is such a God. This God is emotionally unsatisfying ... it does not make much sense to pray to the law of gravity. Carl Sagan
What I’m saying is, if God wanted to send us a message, and ancient writings were the only way he could think of doing it, he could have done a better job. Carl Sagan
Anything you don’t understand, Mr Rankin, you attribute to God. God for you is where you sweep away all the mysteries of the world, all the challenges to our intelligence. You simply turn your mind off and say God did it. Carl Sagan
In this way, science has emasculated the old gods. It has stripped them of their powers and has instead allotted them to a source that is wholly neutral, one that is indifferent to the affairs of men, one scientists refer to as the forces of nature.
Now I can certainly understand why humans would desire to believe in a God, in a force that cares about us, that treats us as its favoured creatures. Believing in a God provides us with a sense of purpose, with a sense that we are immortal. Carl Sagan
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. Carl Sagan, The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark
Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Carl Sagan
I am in contact, in communication, with those at the highest levels of Creation who are passing on this information ... With the Being we call the Godhead, certainly. David Icke, televised interview
I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t. Jules Renard
To rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force. Hypatia
Who are you carrying all those bricks for anyway? God? Is that it? God? Well I tell ya. Let me give you a little inside information. He’s laughing his sick fucking ass off. He’s a tight-ass. He’s a sadist. The Devil’s Advocate 1997 starring Al Pacino & Keanu Reeves & Charlize Theron & Jeffrey Jones & Judith Ivey & Connie Nielson & Craig T Nelson & Heather Matarazzo & Tamara Tunie et al, director Taylor Hackford, Al Pacino as Satan
6Given the existence ... of a personal God ... who ... loves us dearly ... it is established beyond all doubt ... that man ... wastes and pines ... for reasons unknown. Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot
Let us pray to God ... The bastard! He doesn’t exist! Samuel Beckett, Endgame, 1958