Art of the Heist TV - Lilyhammer 2012-2014 - In Order of Disappearance 2014 -
The Scream by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch is one of the most famous and powerful images in art history. In the past twelve years it’s been the target of thieves not once but twice. Art of the Heist s1e4: The Search for the Scream, 2006
One version stolen in 1994 was recovered. But a decade later another Scream vanished when thieves walked into the Munch Museum in Oslo and ripped it from the walls along with a second masterpiece The Madonna. ibid.
August 22 2004 ... Two men got out and ran towards the entrance of the museum ... They brutally snatched them from the walls. ibid.
Lilyhammer ***** starring Steven van Zandt & Trond Fausa Aurvag & Steinar Sagen & Marian Saastad Ottesen & Mikael Aksnes-Pehrson & Fridtjov Saheim & Anne Krigsvoll & Robert Skjaestad & Tommy Karlsen & Nils Jorgen Kaalstad et al
I’m thinking Lilyhammer. Lilyhammer s1e1: Reality Check, Frank, BBC 2012
Don’t worry about a thing. I’m a brand-new guy over here. ibid.
I fell in love with your Olympics. ibid.
I’m opening a nightclub actually. ibid. Frank
You’re the fucking classiest immigrant I’ve ever met. ibid. Sigrid
Anybody else want to join the union? Lilyhammer s1e2: The Flamingo, Frank
Take care of a little business, huh? ibid.
I’m a dedicated student of your culture. ibid.
Nothing clears the mind like an early-morning swim. Lilyhammer s1e3: Guantanamo Blues, Frank
Get yourself a Norwegian licence. ibid. Control
But this year we suspect there’s a relocated ex-con from Guantanamo in town. ibid. rozzer to rozzer
There’s something I have to talk to you about. Lilyhammer s1e4: The Midwife, her to him
Yes. It’s been a bit sudden, but we’re looking forward to it. ibid. her to male midwife; he scowls
Those luscious lips. Beautiful tits. Round, smooth, creamy arses. Delicious pussies all waiting to be tasted, licked, bitten, sucked, savoured like a fine wine. ibid. Frank to Sigrid’s son
Friend: Haven’t you heard about the smoking law?
Frank: We make our own laws. ibid.
Do you know where I can find this Mafia type – where they hang out and stuff? Lilyhammer s1e5: My Kind of Town, Norwegian rozzer to US rozzer in New York
You whining fucking cocksucker. You really want to fuck with me? ibid. Frank to business partner
You’re mixing me up with somebody who gives a fuck. ibid. Frank
Geir was in a known trouble-spot accompanied by a prostitute. A lady boy, t’boot. Lilyhammer s1e6: Pack Your Lederhosen
Our philosophy here is that if people have nice surroundings they’ll feel nicer inside too. ibid. Screw
Time to make some moves on this fat fuck. ibid. Frank
There are rumours of two Americans causing a shitload of trouble. Lilyhammer s1e7: The Babysitter, Torgeir
I have a strong feeling you two know what happened to my friend. ibid. female rozzer to two heavies
I don’t like your boss but these two are worse. ibid. female rozzer to Torgeir
You can’t just leave. Lilyhammer s1e8: Trolls, her to him
I also belonged to an organisation that was a little tough to get out of. Maybe you’ve heard of it. The CIA. ibid. Frank to Torgeir
Enjoy life as a dead man. ibid. Mafia to Frank
I’m not the bad guy here. I’m the guy trying to fix this thing. ibid. him to her
Torgeir: It’s the names of your babies – Asbjorn and Asbjorg.
Frank: What? Lilyhammer s2e1: Millwall Brick
My God is a proud Catholic god – he looks down on skateboards and gay headwear. ibid. Frank to hipster priest
Torgeir: I promise I won’t fuck up again.
Frank: Let’s not be too hasty with the promises. Let’s just take one day at a time. ibid.
Frank: So let me get this straight. I pay you to take a business seminar and you learn how to peel a banana?
Torgeir: The banana is a metaphor. Lilyhammer s2e2: Out of Africa
These Norskies – they’re still Vikings without the stupid hats. ibid.
Reagan didn’t get the Berlin wall torn down by apologising to commies. Lilyhammer s2e3: Fiddler’s Green, Frank
Don’t let in any Englishmen. Or anyone resembling one. ibid. Torgeir to doorman
What a crazy ride it’s been. A big thanks to all who voted for me. You’re very wise. Lilyhammer s2e4: The Black Toe, Frank receives Flame trophy
Maybe we should use code-names: Mr Pink, Mr Blue, Mr Orange … Lilyhammer s2e5: The Black Island, Torgeir
Criminals have acquired some information about my past and I got to get it back. ibid. Frank to Torgeir
Bjorn is a great kid. But he is struggling with his psychomotor milestones. Lilyhammer s2e6: Special Education, special needs nursery teacher to Frank & Sigrid
I am the last guy in Lilyhammer you want to fuck with. Lilyhammer s2e7: The Freezer, Frank to farmer
I’m taking a trip. You’re going to run things while I’m away. Lilyhammer s2e8: Ghosts ****** Frank to Torgeir
The return of Frankie the fixer. This is like a Sopranos episode. ibid. Ange
How would you feel if you got shot? Lilyhammer s3e1: Tiger Boy, Torgeir to Roar
I had a spiritual awakening. At first I turned to Islam for integrational purposes. ibid. Jan
A Norwegian was arrested in Brazil for drug smuggling. 38-year-old Roar Lien from Lillehammer was arrested this morning … Lilyhammer s3e2: Foreign Affairs, Brazilian television news
It’s important to be able to joke around about something as serious as murder. ibid. Jan
Nobody eats, nobody sleeps, nobody takes a fucking piss till my club comes back. Lilyhammer s3e3: Homecoming
I am just a completely ordinary killer. ibid. Jan
Here at The Flamingo we’re concerned with safety and the working environment. ibid. Torgeir to contractors
Frank: What’s going on here?
Torgeir: Workshop. To build the focus of our presentation group. Lilyhammer s3e4: The Mind is Like a Monkey
I, my friend, am the last guy you want to fuck with. ibid. Frank