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Very simply he brings the club head around his shoulder into it. The sound has a hollowness, singleness he hasn’t heart before. His arms force his head up and his ball is hung way out, lunarly pale against the beautiful black blue of storm clouds, his grandfather’s colour stretched dense across the east. It recedes along a line straight as a ruler-edge. Stricken; sphere, star, speck. It hesitates, and Rabbit thinks it will die, but he’s fooled, for the ball makes this hesitation the ground of a final leap; with a kind of visible sob takes a last bite of space before vanishing in falling. ‘That’s it!’ he cries and, turned to Eccles with a smile of aggrandizement, repeats, ‘That’s it.’ John Updike, Rabbit, Run, 1960
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. John Updike
What most people don’t understand is that UFOs are on a cosmic tourist route. That’s why they’re always seen in Arizona, Scotland, and New Mexico. Another thing to consider is that all three of those destinations are good places to play golf. So there’s possibly some connection between aliens and golf. Alice Cooper
Craggy Island Crazy Golf. £1. Members 50p. Father Ted s1e2: Entertaining Father Stone, sign blown over by downpour, Channel 4 1995
Ted: Crazy golf, Paul, not exactly the US Masters … Will you have a go, Paul? It’s great fun, isn’t it, Douglas. Give it a real go. Go on it’s even easier with the windmill’s not in the way. There you go. Give it a real go, what’s the worse thing that can happen … [Paul holds golfing iron aloft & gets hit by lightning] … ibid.
We got fresh air. We got sunshine. We got a beautiful day. Forget about that shit. Thank God for golf some days. The Sopranos s1e9: Boca starring James Gandolfini & Lorriane Bracco & Edie Falco & Michael Imperioli & Dominic Chianese & Steven van Zandt & Tony Sirico & Robert Iler et al, Tony at golf, HBO 1999
It will always be the ball and me. Tiger Woods
The golf ball has no sense at all, which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly, especially during the act of putting. Dan Jenkins
We must stop the terror. I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you. Now watch this drive. George W Bush to press reporters on golf course
The harder you work, the luckier you get. Gary Player
Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated. Arnold Palmer
Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against me. Arnold Palmer
The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done. Arnold Palmer
Resolve never to quit, never to give up, no matter what the situation. Jack Nicklaus
It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. Mark Twain
A decision of the courts decided that the game of golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort. Stephen Leacock, Over the Footlights, 1923
The only time my prayers are not answered is on the golf course. Billy Graham
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness. William Wordsworth
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a one-iron. Not even God can hit a one-iron. Lee Travino
That was a great game of golf, fellas. Bing Crosby, reported words shortly before death
Rick Sorensen completed 18 holes at Meadowbrook Golf Club, Minneapolis, in 86 strokes – blindfolded! Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! 2006
In 2006 Earl died of cancer leaving Tiger devastated. Hall of Fame: Tearjerkers
Tiger had won his third Open, but his first without his father. ibid.
Golf has never been associated with personality and flamboyance. That was until a young unruly Spaniard by the name of Severiano Ballesteros emerged to shake the golfing world with a unique style ... Hall of Fame: Do You Remember the First Time?
Nobody was paying particular attention to a qualifier called Ben Curtis in 2003 ... Unaware of the drama unfolding behind him, Curtis parred the final hole to set a target of –1 ... Ben Curtis – performing in his very first Major – had won the Open championship. Hall of Fame: One-Hit Wonders
Perhaps none has been as exciting as the 1977 Open – the now legendary duel in the sun ... Jack Nicholas and the young pretender Tom Watson ... The final day would effectively be a shoot-out between the two best players in the world ... Going into the penultimate hole they were all-square again ... Revered as arguably the greatest game of golf ever played. Hall of Fame: Rollercoasters
Swash-Buckling Seve and it just seems to sum him up so well ... He brought golf to the masses. Sarah Stirk, golf journalist
How straight it flew, how long it flew,
It clear’d the rutty track
And soaring, disappeared from view
Beyond the bunker’s back –
A glorious, sailing, bounding drive
That made me glad I was alive. John Betjeman, Seaside Golf
Seve Ballesteros was the greatest golfer in the world. Sporting Greats – Seve Ballesteros
Totally unpredictable. But never ever dull. ibid.
Seve exploded into the public consciousness in 1976. ibid.
At just 22 Seve was a Major champion. ibid.
Nicklaus’s three Open wins were all in Scotland. Sporting Greats – Jack Nicklaus
His sixth green jacket at the age of 46, and 18th major championship. ibid.
Gary Player was a golfer like no other: Consumed by self-belief he blazed a trail as golf went global. Sporting Greats – Gary Player
A consistent Major winner in a career spanning more than fifty years. ibid.
At just twenty-three Player had won Golf’s older Major. ibid.
Player became the first man to win the championship [British Open] in three separate decades. ibid.
He captured a trio of Masters titles as well. ibid.
I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. Gerald R Ford
No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such carefully planned ways. A great golf course both frees and challenges a golfer’s mind. Tom Watson
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. Dave Barry
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law. H G Wells
The infallible test ... The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well. P G Wodehouse
‘After all, golf is only a game,’ said Millicent. Women say these things without thinking. It does not mean that there is a kink in their character. They simply don’t realise what they are saying. P G Wodehouse, Order by Golf 1922