They have ruled from the shadows, you see. And they call themselves the Guardians of the Secrets of the Ages. And their first religion was called astrotheology. Or the worship of the heavens. And their first object of worship was the Sun. The second object of worship was the Moon. And everywhere you see the mystery school of the ancient religion you will see the symbols of the sun and the moon also known as Osiris and Isis. For the religion of the mystery schools they believe that man was held prisoner in the Garden of Eden by an unjust and vindictive God. And that man was not told by this unjust and vindictive God that he could have the same powers. And man was set free from the bonds of ignorance by Lucifer and his agent Satan, and many believe that the two are the same ... And that through the gift of intellect man may become God. Bill Cooper
That God does not exist, I cannot deny. That my whole being cries out for God I cannot forget. Jean-Paul Sartre
God is absence. God is the solitude of man. Jean-Paul Sartre
If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews. Bill Hicks
Here’s what we can do to change the world right now to a better ride: take all of that money we spend on weapons and defence each year and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, and not one human being excluded, and we can explore space together, both inner and outer, in peace. I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. Bill Hicks, Revelations, Dominion Theatre, London
Some people have views of God that are so broad and flexible that it is inevitable that they find God wherever they look for him. One hears it said that ‘God is the ultimate’ or ‘God is our better nature’ or ‘God is the universe’. Of course, like any other word, the word ‘God’ can be given any meaning we like. If you want to say that ‘God is energy’, then you can find God in a lump of coal. Professor Steven Weinberg, Dreams of a Final Theory
Q) How do you feel about Jesus Christ?
A) I’m very fond of Jesus. My whole trouble is with his father. Shelby Foote
Why would a rational God give a rat’s arse about whether we believe in Her? Why would God set Faith as the deciding factor in winning Her favour? esias, The Trouble with God essay
If Life were the Jeremy Kyle Show, we’d be grilling God on stage as the abusive parent. ibid.
Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle,
God’s up there,
The devil’s down there
And here am I.
Trapped.
In the middle. esias, Life is a Steaming Pile of Donkey Doo-Doos c.1996
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Voltaire
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him. Voltaire
God is on the side not of the heavy battalions, but of the best shots. Voltaire, variations
cf.
God is always on the side of the big battalions. Voltaire
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. Voltaire
Why should I allow that same God to tell me how to raise my kids, who had to drown His own. Robert G Ingersoll
There can be but little liberty on earth while men worship a tyrant in heaven. Robert G Ingersoll
God so loved the world that he made up his mind to damn a large majority of the human race. Robert G Ingersoll
An honest God is the noblest work of man. Robert G Ingersoll, The Gods, 1876
To hate man and worship God seems to be the sum of all the creeds. Robert G Ingersoll
They say the religion of your fathers is good enough. Why should a father object to your inventing a better plow than he had? They say to me, do you know more than all the theologians dead? Being a perfectly modest man I say I think I do. Now we have come to the conclusion that every man has a right to think. Would God give a bird wings and make it a crime to fly? Would he give me brains and make it a crime to think? Any God that would damn one of his children for the expression of his honest thought wouldn’t make a decent thief. When I read a book and don’t believe it, I ought to say so. I will do so and take the consequences like a man. Robert Ingersoll, speech on Religious Intolerance, Pittsburgh Opera House 14th October 1879
I cannot believe that there is any being in this universe who has created a human soul for eternal pain. I would rather that every god would destroy himself; I would rather that we all should go to eternal chaos, to black and starless night, than that just one soul should suffer eternal agony. Robert Ingersoll, What Must We Do to be Saved? 1880 section X The Evangelical Alliance
Every sect is a certificate that God has not plainly revealed his will to man. To each reader the Bible conveys a different meaning. About the meaning of this book, called a revelation, there have been ages of war, and centuries of sword and flame. If written by an infinite God, he must have known that these results must follow; and thus knowing, he must be responsible for all. Robert G Ingersoll, Some Mistakes of Moses, 1879
The God of Hell should be held in loathing, contempt and scorn. A God who threatens eternal pain should be hated, not loved – cursed, not worshipped. A heaven presided over by such a God must be below the lowest hell. I want no part in any heaven in which the saved, the ransomed and redeemed will drown with shouts of joy the cries and sobs of hell – in which happiness will forget misery, where the tears of the lost only increase laughter and double bliss. Robert G Ingersoll
They knew that to put God in the constitution was to put man out. They knew that the recognition of a Deity would be seized upon by fanatics and zealots as a pretext for destroying the liberty of thought. They knew the terrible history of the church too well to place in her keeping or in the keeping of her God the sacred rights of man. They intended that all should have the right to worship or not to worship that our laws should make no distinction on account of creed. They intended to found and frame a government for man and for man alone. They wished to preserve the individuality of all to prevent the few from governing the many and the many from persecuting and destroying the few. Robert G Ingersoll
It has always seemed absurd to suppose that a god would choose for his companions, during all eternity, the dear souls whose highest and only ambition is to obey. Robert G Ingersoll, The Gods and Other Lectures
It makes man an eternal victim and God an eternal fiend. It is the one infinite horror. Every church in which it is taught is a public curse. Every preacher who teaches it is an enemy of mankind. Below this Christian dogma, savagery cannot go. It is the infinite of malice, hatred, and revenge.
Nothing could add to the horror of hell, except the presence of its creator, God.
While I have life, as long as I draw breath, I shall deny with all my strength, and hate with every drop of my blood, this infinite lie. Robert G Ingersoll
If there is a God who will damn his children forever, I would rather go to hell than to go to heaven and keep the society of such an infamous tyrant. I make my choice now. I despise that doctrine. It has covered the cheeks of this world with tears. It has polluted the hearts of children, and poisoned the imaginations of men ... What right have you, sir, Mr clergyman, you, minister of the gospel to stand at the portals of the tomb, at the vestibule of eternity, and fill the future with horror and with fear? I do not believe this doctrine, neither do you. If you did, you could not sleep one moment. Any man who believes it, and has within his breast a decent, throbbing heart, will go insane. A man who believes that doctrine and does not go insane has the heart of a snake and the conscience of a hyena. Robert G Ingersoll, The Liberty of Man, Woman and Child
God is subtle but He is not malicious. Albert Einstein, Princeton University
I am at all events convinced that He does not play dice. Albert Einstein, variations, reply to letter from Max Born
The idea of a personal God is quite alien to me and seems even naive. Albert Einstein, variations, letter to Beatrice Frohlich, 17 December 1952
cf.
I do not believe in a personal God. Albert Einstein, attributions & variations
Before God we are all equally wise – and equally foolish. Albert Einstein