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★ Self

Why should we honour those that die upon the field of battle?  A man may show as reckless a courage in entering into the abyss of himself.  William Butler Yeats

 

 

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost.  Martha Graham 

 

 

I wish they would take me as I am.  Vincent van Gogh

 

 

I’m such a nobody.  Vincent van Gogh

 

 

I felt more and more alienated from my own sense of self.  Helen Chadwick

 

 

Here all alone.  I am always alone.  I don’t no [sic] who I am.  I want to be something I can never be.  I try so hard every day.  But in the end I hate myself for what I’ve become.  Kip Kinkel, journal entry  

 

 

[on roof] Freddie Mays.  Freddie Mays.  I don’t need ya, Freddie.  Who am I?  I’m superman.  King fucking Kong.  I can pick you up and throw you a million miles.  I’m Number One.  Number fucking One.  I’m Number One.  Fucking Number One.  Number One.  Number One.  Number One.  Number One.  Number One.  Number One.  One.  One.  One.  Number One.  Number fucking one.  I’m Number One ... Number One [jumps off roof].  Gangster No.1 ***** 2000 staring Paul Bettany & Malcolm McDowell & David Thewlis & Saffron Burrows & Kenneth Cranham & Jamie Foreman & Eddie Marsan et al, director Paul McGuigan

 

 

You are not your job.  You’re not how much money you have in the bank.  You’re not the car you drive.  You’re not the contents of your wallet.  You’re not your fucking khakis.  You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.  Fight Club ***** 1999 starring Edward Norton & Brad Pitt & Helena Bonham Carter & Meatloaf & Jared Leto et al, director David Fincher

 

 

I know who I am!  Angel Heart 1987 starring Mickey Rourke & Robert De Niro & Lisa Bonet & Charlotte Rampling & Stocker Fontelieu & Brownie McGhee & Michael Higgins & Elizabeth Whitcraft & Charles Gordone & Dann Florek & Kathleen Wilhoite et al, director Alan Parker, Rourke

 

 

I’m cheap.  I can’t help it.  God made me that way.  Mona Lisa 1986 starring Bob Hoskins & Michael Caine & Robbie Coltrane & Cathy Tyson & Clarke Peters & Kate Hardie & Zoe Nathenson & Sammi Davis & Rod Bedall & Joe Brown & Pauline Melville et al, director Neil Jordan, him to her

 

 

I’m a mug.  I’m a cunt.  You know what I’m like.  I love ya.  Nil By Mouth 1997 starring Ray Winstone & Kathy Burke & Charlie Creed-Miles & Laila Morse & Edna Dore & Chrissie Cotterill & Jon Morrison & Jamie Foreman et al, director Gary Oldman, Ray

 

 

I don’t know who I am; I don’t know where I’m going, nothing.  The Bourne Identity 2002 starring Matt Damon & Franka Potente & Chris Cooper & Brian Cox & Clive Owen & Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje & Gabriel Mann & Julia Stiles et al, director Doug Liman, Bourne to bird in car

 

 

Some kind of abstraction.  But there is no real me.  Only an entity.  Something illusory.  American Psycho 2000 starring Christian Bale & Willem Dafoe & Jared Leto & Josh Lucas & Samantha Mathis & Matt Ross & Bill Sage & Chloe Sevigny & Cara Seymour & Justin Theroux & Reese Witherspoon et al, director Mary Harron, Bale’s commentary

 

But not a single clear identifiable emotion except for greed and disgust.  Something horrible is happening inside of me.  ibid.  Bale

 

 

But as soon as you leave and you’re out in the real world you have to face up to the fact that you’re nobody, you’re nothing special.  Cemetery Junction 2010 starring Christian Cooke & Felicity Jones & Tom Hughes & Ricky Gervais & Jack Doolan & Emily Watson & Julia Davis & Albert Welling & Ralph Fiennes et al, directors Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant, Freddie to Bruce

 

 

If you only think of yourself, you’ll only destroy yourself.  Seven Samurai 1954 starring Tikashi Shimura & Isao Kimura & Yoshio Inaba & Daisuke Kato & Minoru Chiaki & Seiji Miyaguchi & Toshiro Mifune & Bokuzen Hidari & Kamatari Fujiwara & Keiko Tsushima & Yoshio Tsuchiya et al, director Akira Kurosawa, #1 Samurai

 

 

Lesson #3: There’s something beyond one’s self.  Robert S McNamara, The Fog of War, 2003

 

 

For of men it may generally be affirmed, that they are thankless, fickle, false studious to avoid danger, greedy of gain, devoted to you while you are able to confer benefits upon them, and ready, as I said before, while danger is distant, to shed their blood, and sacrifice their property, their lives, and their children for you; but in the hour of need they turn against you.  Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince 

 

 

The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment; but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy.  A man does what he must – in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers, and pressures – and that is the basis of all human morality.  In whatever area in life one may meet the challenges of courage, whatever may be the sacrifices he faces if he follows his conscience – the loss of his friends, his fortune, his contentment, even the esteem of his fellow men – each man must decide for himself the course he will follow.  The stories of past courage can define that ingredient – they can teach, they can offer hope, they can provide inspiration.  But they cannot supply courage itself.  For this each man must look into his own soul.  John F Kennedy 

 

 

The basis of self-government and freedom requires the development of character and self-restraint and perseverance and the long view.  And these are qualities which require many years of training and education.  John F Kennedy, November 1961

 

 

Now the consequences, the disruptive effects of such self-centeredness, such egocentric desires, are tragic.  And we see these every day.  At first, it leads to frustration and disillusionment and unhappiness at many points.  For usually when people are self-centered, they are self-centered because they are seeking attention, they want to be admired and this is the way they set out to do it.  But in the process, because of their self-centeredness, they are not admired; they are mawkish and people don’t want to be bothered with them.  And so the very thing they seek, they never get.  And they end up frustrated and unhappy and disillusioned.  Martin Luther King 

 

 

All human beings have a desire to belong and to feel significant and important.  And the way to solve this problem is not to drown out the ego but to find your sense of importance in something outside of the self.  And you are then able to live because you have given your life to something outside and something that is meaningful, objectified.  You rise above this self-absorption to something outside.  This is the way to go through life with a balance, with the proper perspective because you’ve given yourself to something greater than self.  Sometimes it’s friends, sometimes it’s family, sometimes it’s a great cause, it’s a great loyalty, but give yourself to that something and life becomes meaningful.  Martin Luther King

 

 

An Individual has not started living fully until they can rise above the narrow confines of individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of humanity.  Every person must decide at some point, whether they will walk in light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.  This is the judgment: Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?  Martin Luther King

 

 

Above all, don’t lie to yourself.  The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others.  And having no respect he ceases to love.  Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

 

 

Inside us there is something that has no name, that something is what we are.  José Saramago, Blindness

 

 

I call it the golden eternity.  It is perfect.  We were never really born, we will never really die.  It has nothing to do with the imaginary idea of a personal self, other selves, many selves everywhere: Self is only an idea, a mortal idea.  That which passes into everything is one thing.  It’s a dream already ended.  There’s nothing to be afraid of and nothing to be glad about.  I know this from staring at mountains months on end.  They never show any expression, they are like empty space.  Do you think the emptiness of space will ever crumble away?  Mountains will crumble, but the emptiness of space, which is the one universal essence of mind, the vast awakenerhood, empty and awake, will never crumble away because it was never born.  Jack Kerouac, The Portable Jack Kerouac

 

 

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.  Aristotle

 

 

It is a strange story and it begins with a strange woman in the 1950s of New York.  Ayn Rand had left Russia in the 1920s and gone to live in California … Human beings, Rand said, were alone in the universe.  They must free themselves from all forms of political and religious control, and live their lives guided only by their selfish desires.  If they did this, they would become heroic figures.  Adam Curtis, All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace I: Love and Power, BBC 2011

 

Rand’s ideas were seen as mad and dangerous … but Rand continued to write.  ibid.

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