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★ Shop & Shopping

Shop & Shopping & Supermarket: see Price & Serve & Sell & Market & Stuff & Gadgets & Capitalism & Company & Food & Clothes & Economy & Spend & Internet & Post & Consumer

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Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.  Dave Barry

 

 

Have you fork handles [four candles]?  The Two Ronnies, Hardware Shop sketch, BBC 1976

 

 

Pile it high, sell it cheap.  John Cohen, Tesco founder

 

 

Beverly’s not very organised; she doesn’t believe in making shopping lists.  Play for Today: Abigail’s Party, written and directed Mike Leigh, starring Alison Steadman ***** Laurence to Angela & Tony, with Beverly, BBC 1977

 

 

I was wondering if you had any shampoo for greasy hair?  Mike Leigh, The Short & Curlies 1987 starring Alison Steadman, Clive to Joy,

 

Hell hath no fury like a woman’s corn.  ibid.  Clive’s response to Joy’s aching feet

 

 

How many things I can do without!  Socrates

 

 

In 1986 he [Haring] opened a shop of his own.  Some critics called it a sell-out.  A Portrait of Keith Haring, Elisabeth Aubert, 1989

 

 

He was the mastermind behind the biggest retail fraud in US history.  And used techniques investigators had never seen before.  And vanished with hundreds of millions of dollars.  Masterminds s2e12: Crazy Eddie, History 2004

 

Crazy Eddie expanded at a phenomenal rate.  What began as a single outlet in Brooklyn had by 1987 grown into a vast empire of thirty-nine superstores.  ibid.

 

The Crazy Eddie empire was a massive fraud.  ibid.

 

By 1978 Eddie and his family are skimming one dollar for every five they bring in, reaping millions.  ibid.

 

Armed with 13 apparently successful stores he sits down to seal the deal with Wall Street.  ibid.

 

With his family life in tatters, Eddie’s business problems now worsen.  ibid.

 

The new owner quickly discovers the inventory fraud: a staggering $80,000,000 worth of non-existent merchandise.  ibid.

 

He flees to Israel ... Eddie Antar loses his fight for extradition, and is sent back to America to face justice.  Eventually Antar admits to seventeen counts of fraud.  He owes $150,000,000 in fines and restitution.  And close to $1,000,000,000 in civil law suits.  He goes to prison for eight years.  ibid.

 

 

If you think the United States has stood still – who built the largest shopping centre in the world?  Richard Nixon

 

 

England is a nation of shopkeepers.  Napoleon Bonaparte

 

cf.

 

To found a great empire for the sole purpose of raising up a people of customers may at first sight appear a project fit only for a nation of shopkeepers.  It is, however, a project altogether unfit for a nation of shopkeepers; but extremely fit for a nation whose government is influenced by shopkeepers.  Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations, 1776

 

 

Governments are deemed to succeed or fail by how well they make money go round, regardless of whether it serves any useful purpose.  They regard it as a sacred duty to encourage the country’s most revolting spectacle: the annual feeding frenzy in which shoppers queue all night, then stampede into the shops, elbow, trample and sometimes fight to be the first to carry off some designer junk which will go into landfill before the sales next year.  The madder the orgy, the greater the triumph of economic management.  George Monbiot

 

 

Our economy is based on spending billions to persuade people that happiness is buying things, and then insisting that the only way to have a viable economy is to make things for people to buy so they’ll have jobs and get enough money to buy things.  Philip Slater

 

 

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.  Joan Rivers

 

 

Don’t touch the things.  This is a local shop for local people.  The League of Gentlemen s1e1: Welcome to Royston Vasey, BBC 1999

 

What’s all this shouting?  We’ll have no trouble here.  ibid.  Edward

 

He has a plan.  He covets the precious things of the shop.  ibid.

 

This is a decent town and a local shop.  There is nothing for you here.  ibid.

 

 

This is a local shop for local people.  There’s nothing for you here.  The League of Gentlemen s1e2: The Road to Royston Vasey, Tubbs

 

 

Hello, hello, Tubs, what’s going on?  What’s all this shouting?  We’ll have no trouble here.  How many more times, Tubbs, this is a local shop, mmm, for local people.  The League of Gentlemen s1e3: Nightmare in Royston Vasey, Edward

 

 

I’d like to buy it all.  Everything in the shop.  The League of Gentlemen s1e6: Escape from Royston Vasey, son to mother in local shop

 

 

Tubbs: Yes?  Morning.  Can I help you at all?  [sees dwarfs in shop]  Ah!  Edward!  Edward!

 

Edward: Hello, hello, what’s going on?  What’s all this shouting?  We’ll have no trouble here ... They are not children!  They are monsters! ... Get out, get out, do you hear me?  This is a local shop for local people, there’s nothing for you here.  Demons!  The League of Gentlemen s2e1: Destination Royston Vasey s2e1

 

No need to be rude!  ibid.

 

Do you want a bag for that, dear?  ibid.

 

 

Propelled across the land in a carriage of no horse-drawn, belching Satan’s black wind into our clean and local air.  This is a decent town and a local shop – there’s nothing for you here.  The League of Gentlemen s2e4: Death in Royston Vasey, Edward to petrol-seeking visitor

 

 

We’ve lost a bag.  The League of Gentlemen s3e5: How the Elephant Got Its Trunk, old ladies in charity shop

 

It’s all good stuff, dear.  ibid.  old lady grieving

 

Good stuff, is it?  ibid.  old lady to new man-lady

 

Now what the bloody hell’s going on?  ibid.  old lady

 

No need to be rude, dear.  ibid.  

 

He’s put them all into piles so he can bag em all up.  Here, he’s got some good stuff in here – it’s brand new.  ibid.

 

 

Is that what Western civilisation boils down to? ... Is all we’ve got left today a spot of shopping.  Niall Ferguson, Civilisation: Is the West History? V Consumerism, Channel 4 2011

 

 

Consumerism is so weird.  It's a sort of conspiracy we collude in.  You'd think shoppers spending their hard-earned cash would be highly critical.  You know that the manufacturers are trying to have you on.  J G Ballard

 

 

There’s an obesity epidemic in Britain.  And we think it’s all down to us eating too much fast food, processed ready meals and indulging deserts.  But what if we are wrong?  What if the food being sold to us as healthier is the very thing making us fat?  Jacques Peretti, The Men Who Made Us Fat III, BBC 2012

 

Welcome to the brave new world of shopping science.  ibid.

 

Consumers get confused about what’s healthy and what is less fattening.  ibid.

 

In 1992 John Major’s government was the first to grapple with obesity in this report: The Health of the Nation: A Strategy for Health in England presented to Parliament by the Secretary of State for Health.  ibid.

 

In 1998 Procter & Gamble launched Sunny Delight.  ibid.

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