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School Chaplain: Oh Lord. Ooh you are so big. So absolutely huge. Gosh we’re all really impressed down here I can tell you. Forgive us, O Lord, for this our dreadful toadying. But you’re so strong and well just so super. Amen. Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life 1983
Chaplain [sings]: Oh Lord please don’t burn us. Don’t grill or toast your flock. Don’t put us on the barbecue. Or simmer us in stock. Don’t braise or bake or boil us. Or stir-fry us in a wok. Oh please don’t lightly poach us. Or baste us with hot fat. Don’t fricassee or roast us. Or boil us in a vat. And please don’t stick thy servants, Lord, in a Rotissomat. ibid.
Knock, enter and approach. Right, it’s come to my notice that certain boys have been running a unit-trust limited assurance scheme. Monty Python’s Flying Circus s3e2: Mr & Mrs Brian Norris’ Ford Popular, headmaster to boys, BBC 1972
Finland: They do better by going to school less. Michael Moore, Where to Invade Next, 2016
I believe in an America that is officially neither Catholic, Protestant nor Jewish – where no public official either requests or accepts instructions on public policy from the Pope, the National Council of Churches or any other ecclesiastical source – where no religious body seeks to impose its will directly or indirectly upon the general populace or the public acts of its officials – and where religious liberty is so indivisible that an act against one church is treated as an act against all ... I believe in an America where religious intolerance will someday end – where all men and all churches are treated as equal – where every man has the same right to attend or not attend the church of his choice ... I believe in a President whose religious views are his own private affair, neither imposed by him upon the nation or imposed by the nation upon him as a condition to holding that office ... I am wholly opposed to the state being used by any religious group, Catholic or Protestant, to compel, prohibit, or persecute the free exercise of any other religion. John F Kennedy, September 1960
We have to in the next eight years build as many school buildings as we have built in our entire history. John F Kennedy
In Ottoman schools, science yielded to narrow religious study. Niall Ferguson: Civilisation: Is the West History? II Science, Channel 4 2011
We have established Face to Faith, an inter-faith schools programme to counter intolerance and extremism. Tony Blair Faith Foundation, cited Richard Dawkins
Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple. George Carlin, Brain Droppings
Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet. ibid.
It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn’t afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. ibid.
It feels important to go school; not necessarily to further my education, but more like a hobby. Mandy Moore
For every eleven-year-old that got into grammar school three others were rejected. Richard Bilton, Who Gets the Best Jobs? BBC 2011
How immigration is dividing Britain’s most diverse town. Migrant labour has given Slough one of the UK’s most successful economies. But when I came here ten years ago the town was already struggling with immigration. Panorama: Life in Immigration Town, Richard Bilton reporting, BBC 2017
Why are thousands of white Brits abandoning immigration town? ibid.
More than half of infants who start school are unable to speak much English. ibid.
Immigration has doubled the number of immigrants at this school since 2004. ibid.
Children in this school speak 31 languages. ibid.
We expose a scandal in education: we show what can happen when the school budget is handed over to big business. We investigate a multi-millionaire accused of over-charging the schools he was also running. And we reveal how the government is failing to protect public money. Panorama: Profits Before Pupils? The Academies Scandal, BBC 2018
7,000 schools that have become academies. Half of all pupils in England now go to one. Academies are paid for by the government and run by private trusts. They’re not supposed to make a profit. Some have been accused of doing just that. ibid.
A scandal in English schools: we investigate two academy trusts. We hear from two head teachers turned whistleblowers. We uncover evidence of organised cheating in exams. And we ask, Why is nobody holding academy bosses to account? Panorama: The Academy Schools Scandal, BBC 2019
One in 20 are in deficit; that’s around 500 schools. ibid.
Patricia Davies didn’t just give family members jobs at Silver Birch [Academy Trust]. ibid.
Whose job is it to decide what our children learn in school? In parts of the country primary school children are learning that some families have same-sex parents. Panorama: Sex Education: The LGBT Debate in Schools, BBC 2019
But from September 2020 as part of new compulsory relationships education the government wants all primary schools in England to teach about same-sex couples. ibid.
That doesn’t mean it’s popular with all parents. ibid.
For any parent making sure their child gets a good education can be a real worry. When a child has special educational needs and disabilities the anxiety can be draining. In the six months since schools closed for the majority of pupils, children with some of the most complex needs have been struggling. And although many are now back in the classroom, for the families the anxiety goes on. Panorama: Fighting for an Education, BBC 2020
Tracking down kids who aren’t in class. School and council staff are knocking on doors. Driving up attendance after the pandemic disruption is a priority for the school system. Panorama: Why Kids Miss School, BBC 2022
In our school you were searched for guns and knives on the way in and if you didn’t have any, they gave you some. Emo Philips
Evolution is a fact. It’s documented by science to the same degree Napoleon is by history. Some things are true. They are not a matter of choice or opinion, but you’d never guess that in the place where this matters more than anywhere – in our schools, where the teaching of evolution has become a hugely sensitive issue for science teachers. Richard Dawkins, The Genius of Charles Darwin e3, Channel 4 2008
Evolution should be one of the first things you learn at school ... and what do they get instead? Sacred hearts and incense. Shallow, empty religion. Richard Dawkins, interview Sunday Telegraph 26th September 1999