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1. But folks I have to tell you in the bullshit department a businessman can’t hold a candle to a clergyman. Because when it comes to bullshit, bigtime major-league bullshit, you have to stand in awe – in awe – of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims – Religion. No contest. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people, many of them adults, that there’s an invisible man who lives in the sky and watches everything they do, every minute of every day, and has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send You to remain and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry for ever and ever to the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money. He always needs money. He is all-powerful, all perfect, all-knowing and all-wise, somehow he just can’t handle money. Religion takes in billions of dollars, pays no taxes and somehow they always need a little more. Now you talk about a good bullshit story – holy shit! (God & Elohim & Religion & Tithing & Money & Belief & Faith & Hell & Life’s Like That & Comedy & Bullshit) George Carlin, Napalm and Silly Putty audio
2. I make fun of people who are religious because I think they are fundamentally weak. But I want you to know that on a personal level when it comes to believing in God I tried. I mean I really really tried. I tried to believe that there’s a God who created us in his own image, loves us very much, then keeps a close eye on things. I tried to believe it. But I gotta tell you, the longer you live, and the more you look around, the more you realise something is fucked up. Something is wrong. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being. This is the kind of stuff you’d expect from the office temp with a bad attitude. In any well managed universe this guy would have been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago. So if there is a God, if there is, I think reasonable people might agree he is at least incompetent and maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t give a shit. Which I admire in a person. And which would explain a lot of his results. (Comedy & God & Elohim & Religion & Belief & Faith & Life’s Like That) George Carlin, More Napalm and Silly Putty
3. If there is a God may he strike this audience dead. (God & Religion & Miracle & Audience) ibid.
4. If we could just find out who’s in charge, we could kill him. (God & Elohim & Religion & Belief & Faith & Life’s Like That & Kill) George Carlin
320. Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself. George Carlin
321. If it’s true that we’re all from the center of a star, every atom of us from the center star, then we’re all the same thing ... all been recycled thousands of times ... therefore it’s only me out there. So what is there to be afraid of? What is there that needs solace-seeking? Nothing. There’s nothing to be afraid of because it’s all us. The trouble is, we have been separated by being born and given a name, an identity, being individuated. We’ve been separated from the oneness and that’s what religion exploits – that people have this yearning to be part of the overall one again – so they exploit that, they call it God, they say he has rules, and I think that’s cruel. I think you do it absent religion. (Religion & God & Universe & Nothing & Self & Cosmology & Astronomy) George Carlin
2,355. It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. (Logic & Reason & Science & School & Belief & Religion) George Carlin, Brain Droppings
28,289. I live in the States. A very puritanical place. Full of superstition and ancient religions that never serve their function on this planet because they’re based on fear instead of love. (United States of America & Religion) Bill Hicks
6. The more you begin to investigate what we think we understand, where we came from, what we think we’re doing, the more you begin to see we’ve been lied to – we’ve been lied to by every institution. What makes you thing for one minute that the religious institution is the only one that’s never been touched? The religious institutions of this world are at the bottom of the dirt. The religious institutions in this world are put there by the same people who gave you your government, your corrupt education, who set up your international banking cartels. Because our masters don’t give a damn about you or your family; all they care about is what they’ve always cared about – and that is controlling the whole damned world. We have been misled away from the true and divine presence in the universe that men have called God. I don’t know what God is, but I know what he isn’t – and unless and until you are prepared to look at the whole truth, wherever it may go, wherever it may lead to – if you want to look the other way, if you want to play favourites, then somewhere along the line you’re going to find out you’re messing with divine justice. The more you educate yourself, the more you understand where things come from, the more obvious things become and you begin to see lies everywhere. You have to know the truth and seek the truth and the truth will set you free. (God & Truth & Religion) Jordan Maxwell, televised interview
7. God is going to do whatever He’s going to do, but just make sure you don’t get in the way, thinking you are doing something wonderful and come to find out, No, you are part of the problem. You haven’t done your homework ... I am totally convinced that there is a very powerful divine presence in the universe that I myself refer to as God. I don’t know what God is but I know what He isn’t. And consequently I have a high respect for that divine presence in the universe, and I think we need to get in tune with it: ’cause that’s the only thing that’s going to save us. (God & Truth & Religion) Jordan Maxwell, lecture The Illuminati
318. Religion is nothing more than manipulation of the human mind. (Religion & Mind) ibid.
319. It is at this point we need to go back to the ancient Egyptians to further understand The Greatest Story Ever Told. Though all the essential pieces of the Christian story were long in existence before Egypt, it was the coming of the Pharaohs that the story was finally codified and became religious dogma. (Religion & Egypt & Christian & Jesus) Jordan Maxwell, Paul Tice & Alan Snow, That Old Time Religion
122,021. All the major religions in the world – somebody is financing them. Somebody knows what’s going on. It’s not what you think. (Religion & Secret Society) Jordan Maxwell, Illuminati & the Black Magic Underworld, interview Age of Truth TV, January 2018
122,022. The Rockefellers and the Rothschilds are paying for it. (Religion & Secret Society & Jehovah’s Witnesses & Rockefeller) ibid. re Jehovah’s Witnesses
16. They have ruled from the shadows, you see. And they call themselves the Guardians of the Secrets of the Ages. And their first religion was called astrotheology. Or the worship of the heavens. And their first object of worship was the Sun. The second object of worship was the Moon. And everywhere you see the mystery school of the ancient religion you will see the symbols of the sun and the moon also known as Osiris and Isis. For the religion of the mystery schools they believe that man was held prisoner in the Garden of Eden by an unjust and vindictive God. And that man was not told by this unjust and vindictive God that he could have the same powers. And man was set free from the bonds of ignorance by Lucifer and his agent Satan, and many believe that the two are the same ... And that through the gift of intellect man may become God. (God & Religion & Mystery School & Satan) Bill Cooper
322. The mystery is that religion is but a tool to control the masses. Knowledge (or wisdom) is their only god, through which man himself will become god. The snake and the dragon are both symbols of wisdom. Lucifer is a personification of the symbol. It was Lucifer who tempted Eve to entice Adam to eat of the tree of knowledge and thus free man from the bonds of ignorance. The WORSHIP (a lot different from STUDY) of knowledge, science, or technology is Satanism in its purest form, its secret symbol is the all-seeing eye in the pyramid. (Religion & Knowledge & Gods & Snake & Dragon & Lucifer & Adam & Eve & Satan & Pyramid) Bill Cooper, Secret Societies/New World Order
323. Every time any church gets control of government the people suffer. It has always happened. That’s why our Founding Fathers established a country where that was not supposed to happen, where everybody was free to worship at the altar of their choice. (Religion & Government) Bill Cooper
325. Am I attacking the Church? You’d better believe it. All churches, all organised religions, that have existed since the beginning of time. Am I attacking the religion of individuals? Never, not on your life. (Religion & Church) Bill Cooper
7,739. RELIGION: The aliens claim to have created Homo Sapiens through hybridization. The papers said the RH-blood was proof of this. They further claim to have created all our major religions. The showed a Hologram of the crucifixion of Christ which the Government filmed. They claim Jesus was created by them. (UFOs & Aliens & Religion) Bill Cooper, Operation Majority, material released 31st May 1996
116,625. To sell their product, god-talking salesmen do everything possible to prevent the believer from growing up emotionally and psychologically, manipulating the greedy egocentric infant in us all with preposterous promises of eternal bliss in the hereafter. (Religion & Christianity) Wendell W Watters, Deadly Doctrine: Health, Illness, and Christian God-Talk
116,627. An existential soother to which individuals, having been born atheists, are encouraged to become addicted as they grow up in our theistic society … Christianity is the pacifier PAR EXCELLENCE, claiming to alleviate cosmological fear – fears largely of its own creation – and to relieve guilt that has been stimulated in the believer by Christian god-talk. (Religion & Christianity) ibid.
39. My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind. (God & Religion) Albert Einstein
1,006. Scientists were rated as great heretics by the church but they were truly religious men because of their faith in the orderliness of the universe. (Faith & Science & Religion & Universe) Albert Einstein