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★ Rejection

Rejection: see Denial & Arrest & Trial & Jury & Judgment & Responsibility & Parent & Child & Accusation & Love & Romance & Relationship & Marriage

The Carpenters: Close to You TV - Henri J M Nouwen - William Shakespeare - Rainer Romero-Canyas et al - Genesis 21:14 - Lamentations 5:20-22 - Lance Armstrong - Agatha Christie - A E Housman - Charles Bukowski - Marilyn Monroe - Charlie Chaplin - Tristram Hunt & Isaac Newton - Isaac Newton - Mike Myers - Trevor Hick - Virginia Woolf - Ray Donovan TV - Michael X: Hustler, Revolutionary, Outlaw TV - 

 

 

 

And just over-dub all the vocals ourselves … Made the rounds all over again, and all over again we were rejected.  The Carpenters: Close to You ***** Richard, Sky Arts 2016

 

 

Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection.  Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection.  When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions.  The real trap, however, is self-rejection.  As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, ‘Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.’ ... [My dark side says,]  ‘I am no good ... I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned.’ Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the ‘Beloved’.  Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.  Henri J M Nouwen

 

 

I know thee not, old man: fall to thy prayers;

How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!  William Shakespeare, II Henry IV V v 52

 

 

Societies and social scientists have long held the belief that exclusion induces ingratiation and conformity, an idea in contradiction to robust empirical evidence linking rejection with hostility and aggression.  The classic literatures on ingratiation and conformity help resolve this contradiction by identifying circumstances under which rejection may trigger efforts to ingratiate.  Jointly, findings from these literatures suggest that when people are given an opportunity to impress their rejecters, ingratiation is likely after rejection experiences that are harsh and that occur in important situations that threaten the individual’s self-definition.  Four studies tested the hypothesis that people high in rejection sensitivity and therefore dispositionally concerned about rejection will utilize opportunities to ingratiate after harsh rejection in situations that are self-defining.  In three studies of situations that are particularly self-defining for men, rejection predicted ingratiation among men (but not women) who were high in rejection sensitivity.  In a 4th study, harsh rejection in a situation particularly self-defining for women predicted ingratiation among highly rejection-sensitive women (but not men).  These findings help identify the specific circumstances under which people are willing to act in socially desirable ways toward those who have rejected them harshly.  Rainer Romero-Canyas & Geraldine Downey & Kavita S Reddy & Sylvia Rodriguez & Timothy J Cavanaugh & Rosemary Pelayo, article Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 12th July 2010, ‘Paying to Belong: When Does Rejection Trigger Ingratiation?’  

 

 

And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child and sent her away: and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba.  Genesis 21:14

 

 

Wherefore dost thou forget us for ever, and forsake us so long time?

 

Turn thou us unto thee, O Lord, and we shall be turned; renew our days as of old.

 

But thou hast utterly rejected us; thou art very wroth against us.  Lamentations 5:20-22

 

 

A boo is a lot louder than a cheer.  Lance Armstrong    

 

 

Through my illness I learned rejection.  I was written off.  That was the moment I thought, OK game on.  No prisoners. Everybody’s going down.  Lance Armstrong

 

 

Everybody said, Follow your heart.  I did.  It got broken.  Agatha Christie  

 

 

Because I liked you better

Than suits a man to say,

It irked you, and I promised

I’d throw the thought away.

 

To put the world between us

We parted stiff and dry:

‘Farewell,’ said you, ‘forget me.’

‘Fare well, I will,’ said I.

 

If e’er, where clover whitens

The dead man’s knoll, you pass,

And no tall flower to meet you

Starts in the trefoiled grass,

 

Halt by the headstone shading

The heart you have not stirred,

And say the lad that loved you

Was one that kept his word.  A E Housman, A Shropshire Lad  

 

 

girls

please give your

bodies and your

lives

to

the young men

who

deserve them

 

besides

there is

no way

I would welcome

the

intolerable

dull

senseless hell

you would bring

me

 

and

I wish you

luck

in bed

and

out

 

but not

in

mine

 

thank

you.  Charles Bukowski, You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense  

 

 

Sometimes I feel my whole life has been one big rejection.  Marilyn Monroe  

 

 

Actors search for rejection.  If they dont get it they reject themselves.  Charlie Chaplin

 

 

When he was still a young boy his mother left him ... Isaac had to stay behind at Woolsthorpe.  He was effectively abandoned.  Tristram Hunt, Great Britons: Isaac Newton, BBC 2002

 

 

His father died a few months before he was born.  He was then rejected by his mother.  Isaac Newton: The Last Magician, BBC 2013

 

 

If I went by all the rejection I’ve had in my career, I should have given up a long time ago.  Mike Myers

 

 

I haven’t rejected god; I’ve never met him.  Trevor Hick alt.atheism

 

 

And it was intolerable, and when it came to that scene in the little garden by the fountain, she had to break with him or they would have been destroyed, both of them ruined, she was convinced ... Cold, heartless, a prude, he called her.  Virginia Woolf, Mrs Dalloway  

 

 

The Agency’s passing on your script, Mickey.  Ray Donovan s5e3: Dogwalker, assistant, Showtime 2017

 

 

We were weaned on the concept of the empire and the mother-country and we firmly believed this.  No more loyal subjects of the king and queen … To come here and discover we weren’t wanted has been a very shattering blow … It’s not a matter of hate that our people are feeling towards the people of this country, but a very simple emotion like that of a rejected love.  Michael X: Hustler, Revolutionary, Outlaw, Michael’s TV interview, Sky Showcase 2021