George Carlin - Julian Clary - Tim Vine - Paul Gauguin - Frankie Howerd - Oscar Wilde - Voltaire - Frank Capra - Barbara Bush - Sid Vicious - Tommy Cooper - Ken Dodd - Kenneth Williams - Les Dawson - John Lennon - Anthony Trollope - Artur Schnabel - Johnny Cash - Alfred Hitchcock - Orson Welles - Quentin Tarantino - Laurence Olivier - Judy Garland - Discovering Hamlet TV - Billy Graham - Robert Tressell – The Walk 2015 - Stephen Booth - Bob Hope - Jeb Bush - Richard Dawkins - The League of Gentlemen - Live 2019 - Joe Biden -
3. If there is a God may he strike this audience dead. (God & Religion & Miracle & Audience) George Carlin live
45,735. Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. George Carlin
75,204. Who decides when the applause should die down? It seems like it’s a group decision; everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, ‘Well, OK, that’s enough of that’. (Groups & Audience) George Carlin
128,040. Julian Clary/Joan Collins Fan Club: ‘There’s nothing I like more than a warm hand upon my entrance.’ (Comedy & Audience) Julian Clary, Saturday Night Live, cited Utterly Outrageous X-Rated Comedy, Channel 5 2019
86,899. I did a gig in a fertility clinic. I got a standing ovulation. Tim Vine: Timtiminee Timtiminee Tim Tim to You, Edinburgh Festival 2014
10,991. The history of modern art is also the history of the progressive loss of art's audience. Art has increasingly become the concern of the artist and the bafflement of the public. (Art & Audience) Paul Gauguin
43,182. It’s not an appeal for money – it’s all right, you've been robbed enough as it is. (Comedy & Audience) Heroes of Comedy: Frankie Howerd
43,183. Try if you can to force some titters. (Comedy & Audience) ibid.
45,652. The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster. (Theatre & Play & Audience) Oscar Wilde
29. God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. (God & Comedy & Laugh & Audience) Voltaire
45,716. I made mistakes in drama. I thought drama was when actors cried. But drama is when the audience cries. (Drama & Audience) Frank Capra
32,670. Somewhere out in this audience may even by someone who will one day follow in my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well. (US Presidents & White House & Bush & Audience) Barbara Bush
45,723. American audiences are just the same as any other audiences. Except a bit more boring. Sid Vicious
45,724. I can always tell when an audience is going to be good or bad. Good night. Tommy Cooper
45,725. What a challenge. I’ve seen happier looking bloodhounds. Ken Dodd
45,726. You’re only as good as the audience lets you be. Ken Dodd
43,155. I’m delighted to be in a show. I couldn’t afford to be in the audience. (Comedy & Audience) Tommy Cooper
45,727. The audience will come with you if they believe you. Kenneth Williams, Fantabulosa! BBC
45,728. Where would we be without a laugh? Here. Les Dawson
45,729. Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands? All the rest of you, if you’ll just rattle your jewellery. John Lennon, Royal Variety Performance 1963
45,730. The first necessity for good speaking is a large audience. Anthony Trollope, Phineas Finn 1869
45,731. I know two kinds of audiences only – one coughing, and one not coughing. Artur Schnabel, My Life and Music 1961
45,732. You’ve got a song you’re singing from your gut, you want that audience to feel it in their gut. And you’ve got to make them think that you’re one of them sitting out there with them too. They've got to be able to relate to what you’re doing. Johnny Cash
45,733. Youngsters are the most discerning audience. They want entertainment, they want issues. (Audience & Youth) Shahrukh Khan
45,734. Always make the audience suffer as much as possible. Alfred Hitchcock
45,736. I want to give the audience a hint of a scene. No more than that. Give them too much and they won’t contribute anything themselves. Give them just a suggestion and you get them working with you. That’s what gives the theatre meaning: when it becomes a social act. (Audience & Theatre) Orson Welles
45,737. I don’t believe in elitism. I don’t think the audience is this dumb person lower than me. I am the audience. (Audience & Elite) Quentin Tarantino
45,738. Lead the audience by the nose to the thought. Laurence Olivier
45,739. I try to bring the audience’s own drama – tears and laughter they know about – to them. Judy Garland
45,946. And then he has that dark side in him which must frighten the audience ... There’s something diabolical in him. (Shakespeare & Audience & Hamlet) Discovering Hamlet, Sky Arts, Christopher Plummer
89,150. I spoke to a million in one service, in Korea, in Seoul. And that was the largest audience I ever have had. (South Korea & Audience) Billy Graham
96,528. Owen accordingly ascended the steps ...
‘Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, it is with some degree of hesitation that I venture to address myself to such a large, distinguished, fashionable, and intelligent looking audience as that which I have the honour of seeing before me on the present occasion.’ Robert Tressell, The Ragged Trousered Philanthropist
98,272. There is no show without an audience. (High-Wire Walking & Audience) The Walk 2015 starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Charlotte Le Bo & Ben Kingsley & Clement Sibony & James Badge Dale & Cesar Domboy & Ben Schwartz Benedict Samuel & Steve Valentine at el, director Robert Zemeckis, circus dude to hero
98,820. The wrong sentry challenges, and the other corrects the oddity instantly. Francisco is sick at heart, but neither he nor Bernado gives any sign that further comment might be in order ... Audiences want their bearings and expect them to be given. (Hamlet & Audience) Stephen Booth, On the Value of Hamlet
98,821. Throughout the play, the audience gets information or sees action it once wanted only after a new interest has succeeded the old. (Hamlet & Audience) ibid.
101,077. This is what I like – a captive audience. (Vietnam & Audience) Bob Hope, reception for POWs, cited Hearts & Minds, 1974
124,063. When I first started in Vaudeville the only thing that kept me alive was the vegetables the audience threw at me. (Comedy & Audience & Vegetables) Bob Hope, cited Comedy Legends s1e5: Bob Hope
101,295. Please clap. (Presidency & Audience) Jeb Bush, cited How to Lose the Presidency, History 2017
101,296. Stand up, Chuck. Let me see ya. (US Presidents & Audience & Biden) Joe Biden, to Chuck in wheelchair, cited ibid.
135,115. I guess what I’m trying to say without boring you too long at breakfast – and you all look dull as hell, I might add. The dullest audience I have ever spoken to. Just sitting there, staring at me. Pretend you like me! (Audience & Biden) Joe Biden, to Turkish-American & Azerbaijani-American Obama donors 27 April 2012
107,749. I’m keeping a tally of the people walking out – I think it’s about three or four so far. Richard Dawkins, lecture October 2006
126,673. I’m just going to creep amongst you now and let’s see who I can finger. Herr Lipp, The League of Gentlemen – Live, BBC 2019