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We for a certainty are not the first
Have sat in taverns while the tempest hurled
Their hopeful plans to emptiness, and cursed
Whatever brute and blackguard made the world.
It is in truth iniquity on high
To cheat our sentenced souls of aught they crave,
And mar the merriment as you and I
Fare on our long fool’s-errand to the grave.
A E Housman, Poem IX stanzas III & IV
Shoulder the sky, my lad, and drink your ale. ibid.
Say, for what were hop-yards meant,
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a peer of England brews
Livelier liquor than the Muse,
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God’s ways to man.
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think. A E Housman, A Shropshire Lad
Could man be drunk for ever
With liquor, love, or fights,
Lief should I rouse at morning
And lief lie down at nights.
But men at whiles are sober
And think by fits and starts,
And if they think, they fasten
Their hands upon their hearts. A E Housman
Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer. W C Fields
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. W C Fields, adopted letter 8th February 1944
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W C Fields
One of the pirates’ favourite drinks was Kill Devil Rum. Thinking it might enhance their virility the pirates even mixed gunpowder into their potent drinks. In Search of History s2e8: The Pirates’ Lost City, History 1997
Space is jam-packed with some very weird things. The universe is full of objects and all sorts of mysterious phenomena that we still don’t fully understand. Strange as it may seem astronomers have discovered inter-stellar clouds actually filled with the same kind of alcohol that is found in beer. The Universe s3e10: Strangest Things, History 2009
Humanity i love you because
when you’re hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink. e e cummings, Le Guerre no 2 1925
A man shouldn’t fool with booze until he’s fifty; then he’s a damn fool if he doesn’t. William Faulkner
I’m off to the gin shop. Blackadder’s Christmas Carol starring Rowan Atkinson & Tony Robinson & Mariam Margoyles & Jim Broadbent & Robbie Coltrane & Miranda Richardson & Stephen Fry et al, director Richard Boden, orphan with penny, BBC 1988
In the old days it was not called the Holiday Season: the Christians called it ‘Christmas’ and went to church; the Jews called it ‘Hanukkah’ and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say ‘Merry Christmas!’ or ‘Happy Hanukkah!’ or (to the atheists) ‘Look out for the wall!’ Dave Barry
After a couple of absinthes he [Van Gogh] could start a fight with a Buddhist monk. Waldemar Januszczak, The Impressionists IV: Painting and Revolution: Final Flourish, BBC 2011
Absinthe ... banned in 1915, it was the drug of the day – the cocaine of the nineteenth century. Vincent – The Untold Story of Our Uncle II, caption, 2011
I started taking cocaine and drink ... I turned into a babbling fucking wreck. Damien Hirst, On the Way to Work, 2001
Two great European narcotics: Alcohol and Christianity. Friedrich Nietzsche
All the more spiritual natures should abstain from alcohol completely. Water always suffices. Friedrich Nietzsche
One of the most striking facts about Nietzsche is that he hated drinking alcohol. Alain de Botton, Philosophy: Nietzsche on Hardship, Channel 4 2002
We think it’s a combination of Babysham and Harpic. Father Ted s1e2: Entertaining Father Stone, Doctor wheeling alcoholic Father into hospital, Channel 4 1995
Drink! Father Ted s3e4: The Mainland, Father Jack at AA
Atlantic City 1921: Monster, vicious brute, friend to thief and prostitute, conscience dulled by demon rum, liquor – thy name is delirium. Boardwalk Empire s1e1, Women’s Temperance League meeting, HBO 2010
You think that’s a talent too, knowing how to drink whisky? The Hustler 1961 starring Paul Newman & Jackie Gleason & Piper Laurie & George C Scott & Myron McCormick & Murray Hamilton & Stefan Gierasch et al, director Robert Rossen, Shark to Fast Eddie
Eventually we grow up. We get jobs. We have affairs. And we become alcoholics. A History of Violence 2005 starring Viggo Mortensen & Maria Bello & Ed Harris & William Hurt & Ashton Holmes & Peter MacNeill & Stephen McHattie & Greg Bryk & Kyle Schmid & Sumela Kay, director David Cronenberg, young him to young her