Lady Astor & Winston Churchill - Zsa Zsa Gabor - George Eliot - Sunset Boulevard 1950 - Brazil 1985 - Abigail's Party 1977 - Rita Rudner - Samson & Delilah 1984 - Duck Soup 1933 - Madame de la Fayette - William Shakespeare - Dorothy Osborne - Elizabeth I - Bauvard - Lord Byron - Tricia - I Corinthians 7:14 - Ephesians 5:22-33 - Colossians 3:18&19 - Barbara Cartland - H L Mencken - John Milton - Ray Donovan TV - Rab C Nesbitt TV - The Catherine Tate Show TV -
85,375. Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I’d poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it. (Poison & Husband & Tea) attributions & variations
124,635. Zsa Zsa Gabor: How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? attributed
4,661. A woman, let her be as good as she may, has got to put up with the life her husband makes for her. (Woman & Husband) George Eliot, Middlemarch
22,942. I was her first husband. (Film Noir & Murder & Husband) Sunset Boulevard: A Hollywood Story 1950 starring Gloria Swanson & Erich von Stronheim & William Holden & Nancy Olson & Fred Clark & Lloyd Gough & Jack Webb & Franklyn Farnum et al, director Billy Wilder, Max
23,641. This is your receipt for your husband. (Science Fiction Films & Husband) Brazil 1985 starring Jonathan Pryce & Robert De Niro & Katherine Helmond & Ian Holm & Bob Hoskins & Michael Palin & Kim Griest & Bob Hoskins & Jim Broadbent et al, director Terry Gilliam, ministry bloke
44,454. You don’t mind me mauling your husband, do you, Ange? (Parties & Husband) Play For Today: Abigail’s Party 1977, written and directed Mike Leigh, starring Alison Steadman ***** Beverly
44,458. He happens to be my husband. (Parties & Husband) ibid. Beverly to Angela
44,463. The thing is I’m very fond of him. (Parties & Husband) ibid.
50,883. My mother buried three husbands – and two of them were only napping. (Bury & Husband) Rita Rudner
57,077. Would you have me betray my husband? (Samson & Husband) Samson & Delilah 1984 starring Max von Sydow & Belinda Bauer & Angelica Aragon & David Byrd & Stephen Macht & Victor Mature & Antony Hamilton & Daniel Stern & Clive Revill & Jennifer Holmes et al, director Lee Philips, wife of Samson
76,724. Rufus T Firefly: Not that I care but where is your husband?
Chairwoman of the Reception Committee: Why he’s dead.
Rufus T Firefly: I bet he’s just using that as an excuse. Duck Soup 1933 starring Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx & Chico Marx & Zeppo Marx & Margaret Dumont & Louis Calhern & Raquel Torres & Edgar Kennedy & Edmund Breese & Edwin Maxwell et al, director Leo McCarey
76,725. One reproaches a lover, but can one reproach a husband, when his only fault is that he no longer loves? Madame de la Fayette, The Princess of Cleves 1678
97,332. Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign: one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance; commits his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe,
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience … William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew V ii @146
93,242. Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband? (Wife & Husband) William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet III ii 97, Juliet to Nurse
76,726. That there be women do abuse their husbands
In such gross kind? William Shakespeare, Othello IV iii 60-61
76,727. But I do think it is their husbands’ faults
If wives do fail. ibid. III iv 85-86, Emilia
76,728. ’Tis much easier sure to get a good fortune than a good husband, but whosoever marries without any consideration of fortune shall never be allowed to do it out of so reasonable an apprehension. Dorothy Osborne, letter to William Temple
76,729. I do not want a husband who honours me as a queen, if he does not love me as a woman. (Husband & Elizabeth I) Elizabeth I
76,730. Husband: a man with hopes of being a lover who settles for being a provider, causing his wife to grow suspicious of her depleting jewellery box. Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic
76,731. And truant husband should return, and say,
My dear, I was the first who came away. Lord Byron, Don Juan 1:141
81,477. One meeting a young married woman got up and started saying how thankful she was for different things – all was fine until she got to, ‘I’m thankful for my hands so I can touch my husband all over,’ and then she went on for 10 minutes about how she touches him and how grateful she is that she can feel him! Everyone is looking the Bishopric and making gestures to shut her up but they were too chicken and let her keep talking. (Mormon & Husband) Tricia, board post 6th January 2003 ‘Funniest Testimonies Ever’
93,256. The unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife. (Wife & Husband) I Corinthians 7:14
93,258. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (Wife & Husband) Ephesians 5:22-33
93,257. Wives, be in subjection to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. (Wife & Husband) Colossians 3:18&19
93,262. A woman should say: ‘Have I made him happy? Is he satisfied? Does he love me more than he loved me before? Is he likely to go to bed with another woman?’ If he does, then it's the wife’s fault because she is not trying to make him happy. (Wife & Husband) Barbara Cartland
93,263. Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest. (Wife & Husband & Marriage) H L Mencken