Oh, pity the poor glutton
Whose troubles all begin
In struggling on and on to turn
What’s out into what’s in. Walter de la Mare
Ann, Ann!
Come! quick as you can!
There’s a fish that talks
In the frying pan. Walter de la Mare
Stone, steel, dominions pass,
Faith too, no wonder;
So leave alone the grass
That I am under. A E Housman
Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren’t for Christmas
We’d all be Jewish. Benny Hill
Faith is a fine invention
For gentlemen to see;
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency. Emily Dickinson, Faith is a Fine Invention
I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there’s a pair of us – don’t tell!
They’d banish us, you know.
How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog! Emily Dickinson, The Complete Poems
If I were a cassowary
On the plains of Timbuctoo,
I would eat a missionary,
Cassock, band, and hymn-book too. Samuel Wilberforce
We thank thee, oh God, for depression
To guide us through our latter daze
We thank thee for opening our eyes
Helping us see through the Mormon haze. Bob McCue
Neutrinos, they are very small
They have no charge and have no mass
And do not interact at all.
The Earth is just a sillly ball. John Updike, Cosmic Gall
This high official, all allow,
Is grossly overpaid;
There wasn’t any Board, and now
There isn’t any trade. A P Herbert, The President of the Board of Trade, 1922
At forty-five,
What next, what next?
At every corner,
I meet my Father,
my age, still alive. Robert Lowell, Middle Age 1964
I used to think all poets were Byronic –
Mad, bad and dangerous to know.
And then I met a few. Yes it’s ironic –
I used to think all poets were Byronic.
They’re mostly wicked as a ginless tonic
And wild as pension plans. Wendy Cope, Triolet, 1986
What is the modern poet’s fate?
To write his thoughts upon a slate;
The critic spits on what is done
Gives it a wipe – and all is done. Thomas Hood, to the Reviewers 1826
Twinkle, twinkle, quasi-star
Biggest puzzle from afar
How unlike the other ones
Brighter than a billion suns
Twinkle, twinkle, quasi-star
How I wonder what you are. George Gamow, Matter, Earth, and Sky
God’s chase
Round vase.
What say?
What play?
Don’t know.
Nice, though. Desmond Skirrow, Ode on a Grecian Urn summarized
O’re the rugged mountain’s brow
Clara threw the twins she nursed,
And remarked, ‘I wonder now
Which will reach the bottom first?’ Harry Graham, Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, 1899
Billy, in one of his nice new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burnt to ashes;
Now, although the room grows chilly,
I haven’t the heart to poke poor Billy. Harry Graham, Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, 1899
You beat your pate, and fancy wit will come:
Knock as you please, there’s nobody at home. Alexander Pope
God bless our good and gracious King,
Whose promise none relies on;
Who never did a foolish thing,
Nor ever did a wise one. John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester
Lord Finchley tried to mend the Electric Light,
Himself. It struck him dead: And serve him right!
It is the business of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan. Hilaire Belloc, Lord Finchley
O what a tangled web we weave
When first we practice to deceive!
But when we've practised quite a while
How vastly we improve our style! J R Pope, A Word of Encouragement
95,082. Miss Twye was soaping her breasts in the bath
When she heard behind her a meaning laugh
And to her amazement she discovered
A wicked man in the bathroom cupboard. Gavin Ewart, Miss Twye
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain’s majesty above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea. George Carlin
Come to Quark’s, Quark’s is fun, Come right now, Don’t walk, run. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine s24: The Quickening, Quark’s advert
Life is for the living.
Death is for the dead.
Let life be like music.
And death a note unsaid. Langston Hughes, The Collected Poems
I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank. Langston Hughes