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No man has a right to raise a hand to a woman in anger other than in self-defence and that rarely ever occurs. And so we have to just change the culture, period. And keep punching at it, and punching at it, and punching at it. Joe Biden, Democrat debate
I told you that I hit my wife once, didn't I? She moved out. Took both our kids. Then I sat there in an empty flat – no children shouting, no noise. No nothing. Just a load of shame and anxiety. Arne Dahl VIII: Many Waters II starring Malin Arvidsson & Irene Lindh & Claes Ljungmark & Shanti Roney & Magnus Samuelsson & Matias Varela & Vera Vitali et al, big rozzer
A slap’s better than no tough at all. Machine Gun Kelly 1958 starring Charles Bronson & Susan Cabot & Morey Amsterdam & Richard Devon & Jack Lambert & Frank DeKova & Conni Gilchrist & Wally Campo & Lori Martin et al, director Roger Corman, bird to gangsta
You don’t understand at all. I’m not doing this [suicide] for me. I’m doing it to protect Keiko and Molly and everyone else on this station ... from me. I’m not the man I used to be. I’m dangerous. I nearly hit Molly today. All she wanted was a little attention, and I nearly hit her. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine s4e19: Hard Time, O’Brien to Bashir
75% of Alaskans have experienced domestic violence. Rape is 2.5 times above national average. Drugs Inc s3e2: Alaska Heroin Rush, National Geographic 2012
He’s very quick tempered. I think it’s because of his red hair. Play for Today: Abigail’s Party ***** starring Alison Steadman, director Mike Leigh, Angela to Beverly, with Sue, re Tony, BBC 1977
Was your husband violent? Oh she’s one of the lucky ones, isn’t she? ibid. Angela to Sue, with Beverly
my mother, poor fish,
wanting to be happy, beaten two or three times a
week, telling me to be happy: ‘Henry, smile!
why don’t you ever smile?
and then she would smile, to show me how, and it was the
saddest smile I ever saw. Charles Bukowski
If she doesn’t wear hijab we hit her. Sheikh al-Jabari
Domestic Violence specialists don’t recommend anger management as a therapy. Penn & Teller: Bullshit! s5e10: Anger Management, Showtime 2007
A general pattern of family annihilation which is underpinned, propped up, by issues such as the crisis of masculinity, by domestic violence: one woman a week is killed by her partner … two children a week die at the hands of their parents or parent … issues which should prompt us to take … domestic violence seriously. Professor David Wilson
Some communities believe that a woman likes a little smacking, a little pressure, to ease the pressure, to feel that she is wanted ... Wife beating is a way of expressing love in certain cultures. Major General Njoroge, deputy commander of Kenyan army at Greek arms fair, interview Mark Thomas
Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs. Noel Coward, Private Lives
He hit me. And it felt like a kiss. The Crystals, It Felt Like a Kiss, written Carole King, produced Phil Spector
We must know that beating is an Islamic punishment. Qatar TV August 2004
Beatings is undoubtedly one of the methods of reform. Dr Ghazi al-Shimari, Saudi expert on family affairs
The backhand, show her the backhand. Every good woman knows the backhand. Thomas S Monson, Mormon Prophet's Calgary Temple dedication, cited Elder Chris Lyons et al
Dora Greenfield left her husband because she was afraid of him. She decided six months later to return to him for the same reason. Iris Murdoch
The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Rather, it must be based upon the self-protective capability of the victim. Until the victim has developed a detailed and realistic contingency plan and has demonstrated her ability to carry it out, she remains in danger of repeated abuse. Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery
The abuser’s mood changes are especially perplexing. He can be a different person from day to day, or even from hour to hour. At times he is aggressive and intimidating, his tone harsh, insults spewing from his mouth, ridicule dripping from him like oil from a drum. When he’s in this mode, nothing she says seems to have any impact on him, except to make him even angrier. Her side of the argument counts for nothing in his eyes, and everything is her fault. He twists her words around so that she always ends up on the defensive. As so many partners of my clients have said to me, ‘I just can’t seem to do anything right.’
At other moments, he sounds wounded and lost, hungering for love and for someone to take care of him. When this side of him emerges, he appears open and ready to heal. He seems to let down his guard, his hard exterior softens, and he may take on the quality of a hurt child, difficult and frustrating but lovable. Looking at him in this deflated state, his partner has trouble imagining that the abuser inside of him will ever be back. The beast that takes him over at other times looks completely unrelated to the tender person she now sees. Sooner or later, though, the shadow comes back over him, as if it had a life of its own. Weeks of peace may go by, but eventually she finds herself under assault once again. Then her head spins with the arduous effort of untangling the many threads of his character, until she begins to wonder whether she is the one whose head isn’t quite right. Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
You are the victim and it won’t help you to know why he supposedly abused you. No matter what his reason, there is no excuse for abuse. You are not to blame. Beth Praed, Domestic Violence: My Freedom From Abuse
He knocked her about a bit but her home were lovely. The Royle Family s1e3: Sunday Afternoon s1e3, Nana, BBC 1998
There is not one of us who cannot recall to memory the experience of some case in which a woman submitted to the worst of treatment, treatment degrading and humiliating, and allowed it to continue rather than permit her name to become the subject of a public scandal. Lord Fitzgerald, G v M 1885 L R 10 Ap Ca 208
It was the murder of a young mother that devastated her family. The appalling death of Clare Wood at the hands of her former partner brought the horrifying effects of domestic violence to the public consciousness. What happened to his daughter inspired a father’s fight to protect victims of domestic abuse. Crimes that Shook Britain s5e6: Clare Wood
Clare Wood contacted police for help four times in as many months fearing for her life. ibid.
He had hanged himself. ibid.
The media constantly trumpet the radical feminist line that males are violent killers, responsible for the majority of domestic violence. The story of sadistic killer Katherine Mary Knight may redress this imbalance somewhat.
On 29 February 2000, in what must truly be Australia’s most gruesome case of domestic violence, mother of four, Katherine Mary Knight cold-bloodedly prepared for the violent murder of her de facto husband, John Thomas Price, by sending the children away overnight. Then carefully selecting a sharpening steel and a long boning knife from her selection of butcher’s knives, Knight began honing the knife until it was razor sharp, in preparation for the grisly task ahead.