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Wife: see Women & Marriage & Wedding & Widow & Bride & Partner & Relationship & Love & Contract & Husband & Divorce & Affair & Polygamy

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80,996.  Q) Why did the Mexican throw his wife off the cliff?

 

A) Tequila.  (Mexico & Wife)  Joe Pasquale, cited The 100 Greatest Comedians 2010, attributions  

 

 

88,052.  Wife and servant are the same,

But only differ in the name.  (Servant & Wife)  Mary Lady Chudleigh 1656-1710, Poems: To the Ladies

 

 

90,102.  300 wife fairs ... Wives fairs were technically against the law ... The woman was the property of her husband, so why should he not sell her like a piece of meat?  (Suffragettes & Rights & Women & Equality & Wife & Feminine)  Amanda Vickery, Suffragettes: Forever! The Story of Women and Power ***** BBC 2015  

 

 

4,678.  No slave is a slave to the same lengths, and in so full a sense of the word, as a wife is.  (Woman & Slave & Wife)  John Stuart Mill, The Subjection of Women

 

 

12,276.  You have a wife, Uriah?  (David & Wife)  David and Bathsheba 1951 starring Gregory Peck & Susan Hayward & James Robinson Justice & Jayne Meadows & Raymond Massey & Kieron Moore et al, director Henry King

 

 

23,706.  Wives don’t nag; they discuss.  (Murder Films & Wife)  Rear Window 1954 starring James Stewart & Grace Kelly & Wendell Corey & Thelma Ritter & Raymond Burr & Judith Evelyn & Ross Bagdasarian & Georgine Darcy & Sara Berner & Frank Cady et al, director Alfred Hitchcock, bloke on dog n bone

 

 

25,587.  Delete the wife.  (Star Trek: Voyager & Wife)  Star Trek: Voyager: Fair Haven s6e11, Janeway to computer

 

 

32,137.  I don’t think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing.  (Elizabeth II & Royal Family & Prostitute & Wife)  Prince Philip

 

 

55,851.  I say, this is a jolly wizard lunch, Anne.  You really are going to make someone a great little wife one day.  (Children & Wife)  The Comic Strip Presents ... Five Go Mad In Dorset, 1982 starring Peter Richardson & Adrian Edmonson & Dawn French & Jennifer Saunders & Robbie Coltrane et al, Dick

 

 

72,332.  I’ve got everything I want there in your mother.  Are you going to make that cup of tea, Barb, or what?  (Family & Wife)  The Royal Family: Making Ends Meet s1e2, Jim

 

 

75,461.  I don’t see why men who have got wives they don’t want shouldn’t get rid of them as they do their old horses.  The Mayor of Casterbridge 2003 starring Ciaran Hinds & James Purefoy & Jodhi May & Polly Walker & Juliet Aubrey & Darren Hawks & Jean Marsh & Michael Beint & Clive Russell & John Surman & Susan Jane Tanner et al, director David Thacker, opening scene

 

 

76,410.  My wife – she will be back here in four hours and she can kill a man at ten paces with one blow of her tongue.  (Hotel & Wife)  Fawlty Towers: The Builders s1e2, Basil to O’Reilly, BBC 1975

 

 

76,583.  What husband hasn’t at some time wanted to kill his wife?  (House & Horror & Murder & Wife)  House on Haunted Hill 1959 starring Vincent Price & Carolyn Craig & Elisha Cook & Carol Ohmart & Alan Marshal & Julie Mitchum & Richard Long et al, director William Castle

 

 

78,838.  She who must be obeyed.  (Law & Wife)  Rumpole of the Bailey: Rumpole and the Younger Generation s1e1, Rumpole to son

 

 

93,231.  Harris, I am not well; pray, get me a glass of brandy.  George IV, on seeing Caroline of Brunswick, his future wife

 

 

93,232.  She’s more than a mistress.  She’s more than a wife.  She’s a mother.  She’s a daughter.  She’s an errant child.  She can make you laugh.  She can make you cry.  (Wife & Woman)  Peter Cook, interview Clive Anderson Talks Back 1993

 

 

93,233.  What is it then to have or have no wife,

But single thraldom, or a double strife?  Francis Bacon, The World, 1629

 

 

93,234.  Now Giant Despair had a wife, and her name was Diffidence.  John Bunyan, The Pilgrim’s Progress

 

 

93,235.  By all means marry.  If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy.  If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.  (Wife & Marriage)  Socrates

 

 

93,237.  I was cleaning out the attic last week with the wife.  Filthy dirty covered in cobwebs.  But she’s good with the kids.  Tommy Cooper

 

 

93,238.  You can’t explore the world with an agoraphobic wife, Phil.  The Armstrong and Miller Show, November 2010  

 

 

93,239.  Run away.  Just dump everything and run and never look back.  Where?  I don’t care where.  Just run away from this cheap, vulgar, filthy life.  It’s turned me into a pathetic old wreck.  A pathetic old half-wit in front of that stupid, petty, evil, evil miser of a woman I’m married to.  Run away from a wife who has tormented me for thirty-three years.  Chekhov: Comedy Shorts: The Dangers of Tobacco starring Steve Coogan

 

 

73,516.  It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.  (Fortune & Wife)  Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

 

 

26,076.  This is a way to kill a wife with kindness.  (Kind & Wife)  William Shakespeare, The Taming of the Shrew IV i 194, Petruccio to self

 

 

93,241.  There’s none but asses will be bridled so.  William Shakespeare, The Comedy of Errors II i 14, Adriana to Luciana

 

 

93,242.  Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband?  (Wife & Husband)  William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet III ii 97, Juliet to Nurse

 

 

93,243.  O he is as tedious

As a tired horse, a railing wife ...

I had rather live

With cheese and garlic, in a windmill, far,

Than feed on cates and have him talk to me

In any summer house in Christendom.  William Shakespeare, I Henry IV III i 156-160, Hotspur to Mortimer et al

 

 

93,244.  Portia: Dwell I but in the suburbs

Of your good pleasure?  If it be no more,

Portia is Brutus’ harlot, not his wife.

 

Brutus: You are my true and honourable wife,

As dear to me as are the ruddy drops

That visit my sad heart.  William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar II i 285

 

93,269.  O ye gods,

Render me worthy of this noble wife!  ibid.  II i 303

 

 

93,245.  What should such a fool

Do with so good a wife?  William Shakespeare, Othello Vii 240-241, Emilia

 

 

93,264.  My wife ought not even to be under suspicion.  Julius Caesar, cited Cicero cf. proverb ‘Caesars wife must be above suspicion’ 

 

 

93,246.  I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.  Woody Allen

 

 

93,247.  Diane Keating: What did your wife do?

 

Woody Allen: She was a hitman for the Mafia.  (Wife & Mafia)  Sleeper 1973 starring Woody Allen & Diane Keaton & John Beck & Marya Small & Susan Miller & Mary Gregory & Don Keefer & Peter Hobbs & John McLiam & Bartlett Robinson & Chris Forbes et al, director Woody Allen

 

 

93,248.  The comfortable estate of widowhood, is the only hope that keeps up a wife’s spirits.  (Wife & Widow)  John Gay, The Beggar’s Opera 1728

 

 

93,249.  My wife, who, poor wretch, is troubled with her lonely life.  Samuel Pepys, diary 19th December 1662

 

 

102,128.  Is your wife a goer, eh?  Know what I mean, know what I mean, nudge nudge … nudge nudge, say no more … a nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat … nudge, nudge, say no more … Is your wife interested in photographs, eh?  (Wife & Photograph)  Monty Python’s Flying Circus s1e3, BBC 1969

 

 

93,250.  Are you married?  I’m a bachelor meself ha ha.  Is your wife a goer?  Know what I mean?  Nudge nudge.  Know what I mean?  Say no more.  Say no more.  Know what I mean.  Nudge nudge ... A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat.  (Wife & Marriage)  Monty Pythons And Now For Something Completely Different 1971 starring Graham Chapman & John Cleese & Terry Gilliam & Eric Idle & Terry Jones & Michael Palin & Carol Cleveland & Connie Booth et al, director Ian MacNaughton, man to man in pub

 

 

93,251.  Man’s best possession is a sympathetic wife.  Euripides, Antigone

 

 

 

93,260.  I went to the doctor’s last week.  I said, Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?  He said, Why?  I said, She woke up.  Les Dawson

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