I saw all your hard drives and guess what? [gestures to Ryan] You’re not a photographer. [gestures to Kelly] And you definitely can’t fit into a size two. Darryl, man, you're on Facebook. Why you been telling people you’re not on Facebook? People want to be your friend, man! Alright? And you. [points to Andy] This guy, you’re the one who told the press. You wrote an email to the editor. I saw it, and I also saw a QuickTime movie of your little printer fire test on your hard drive. This guy's the snitch, he’s the snitch. So that’s it. Check it out. [gives finger and leaves] The Office US s6e26: Whistleblower, Nick
Gabe is awesome. He’s accomplished so much career-wise and height-wise. Thank God he is my boss. The Office US s7e1: Nepotism, Erin
There are many different schools of thought on capital punishment. ibid. Michael
I’m glad Michael’s getting help. He has a lot of issues and he’s stupid. The Office US s7e2: Counselling, Phyllis
Disposable cameras are fun, although it does seem wasteful and you don’t ever get to see your pictures. ibid. Erin
There are a lot of one-person departments here. ibid. Pam
Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It’s so powerful, even a lot of men can’t resist a man singing show tunes. The Office US s7e3: Andy's Play, Andy
All that singing got in the way of some perfectly good murders. ibid. Dwight
Hi, Donna. It’s Michael. I have a disease for which there is no known cure. The Office US s7e4: Sex Ed, Michael
It didn’t come up organically. ibid.
Today is about herpes. ibid. Dwight to Michael in car
He’s not just here for the coffee, Jim. Wake up. The Office US s7e5: The Sting, Dwight to Jim
Including costume contest, bobbing for apples and ouija board. The Office US s7e6: Costume Contest, Michael
The whole going-over-my-head-gate is making people act weird. The chain of command is crumbling. ibid. Michael to Darryl
The paper industry’s not going to last for ever. The Office US s7e7: Christening, Michael
He cooks in the oven and all that jazz; I have a different lifestyle. The Office US s7e8: Viewing Party, Michael
I have a legal obligation to Angela; she has to be serviced. ibid. Dwight
Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there’s a button that I can press and launch that lighthouse into space. The Office US s7e9: WUPHF.com, Stanley
Owning a building is a war between the landlord and the tenant. Not a literal war, unfortunately, but I am using the same tactics. I’ve surrounded the enemy and I’m slowly starving them. To save on electricity, I’ve installed a timer and motion sensors on the lights. It’s part of my green initiative. And by green, I mean money. The Office US s7e10: China, Dwight
That’s what every boss wants: a wonderful Christmas with no drama. The Office US s7e11&12: Classy Christmas, Michael
I have a wig for every single person in the office. ibid. Dwight
All this arguing reminds me of a very funny story. ibid. Michael
You know what you guys should do? Go to the bookstore at lunch. There’s tons of cuties and it’s easy to talk to them. ‘Hey, what book is that? Cool, let’s hang out tonight. Sex already? Whoa.’ [cuts to Darryl in interview] My resolution is to read more. And if someone else is driving me to the bookstore, I can eat my PB&J in the car. 2011 is coming up all Darryl. The Office US s7e13: The Ultimatum
Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples. A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question: Why are you here? The Office US s7e14: The Seminar, Creed
Holly is ruining Michael’s life. He thinks she is so special and she’s so not. Her personality is like a 3. Her sense of humor is a 2. Her ears are like a 7 and a 4. Add it all up and what do you get? 16. And he treats her like she’s a perfect 40. It’s nuts. The Office US s7e15: The Search, Erin
You drive. I got a car full of fox meat. ibid. Dwight
Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet, and the office is like the dragon that kept them apart. The Office US s7e16: PDA, Michael
Public Displays of Affection, or PDAs. ibid. Holly
I am a huge Woody Allen fan, although I’ve only seen Antz. But I’ll tell you something. What I respect most about that man is that when was going through that stuff from the press that said Antz was basically a rip-off of Bug’s Life, he stood true to his films, or at least the one I saw, which again is Antz. The thing is, I thought Bug’s Life was better. Much better than Antz. Point is, don’t listen to your critics. Listen to your fans. The Office US s7e17: Threat Level Midnight, Michael
I had shirts in five different women’s houses. The Office US s7e18: Todd Packer, Todd to Michael
Packer is back! ibid.
Packer’s going to be here till the day he dies just like the rest of us. ibid.
83,820. Michael – you’ve had two ideas today. The Office US s7e19: Garage Sale, Pam
Michael, the last time I was exposed to a peanut I was itchy for three days, OK? I had to take baths constantly. I missed the O J verdict. I had to read about it in the paper like an idiot. The Office US s7e20: Training Day, Deangelo
The Dundies are my babies and they need to go on. The Office US s7e21: Michael’s Last Dundies, Michael
Where were you on September 11th? ibid. DeAngelo
OK, no salami in the pants. How about a Peperami? The Office US s7e22: Goodbye Michael, Michael to Dwight
You sold us all on Andy, a product nobody wanted. ibid.
There’s not enough time in the day to have a special moment with everyone. ibid.
What a great boss you turned out to be. The best boss I ever had. ibid. Jim
Andy: Oh, there’s an inner circle. Oh yeah.
Jim: There is no inner circle. Deangelo just prefers to delegate a few things to a few guys.
Kevin: Jim only says that because he’s in the inner circle. I also say that because I am also in the inner circle. Did you get that, Ma? Your boy, Kevin Malone, is IN the inner circle! Which doesn’t exist. The Office US s7e23: Inner Circle
Nor will you foment insurrection. The Office US s7e24: Dwight K Schrute (Acting Manager), Dwight
You’re pre-fired. ibid. Dwight
Basically everything is falling apart here. The Office US s7e25&26: Search Committee, Creed
Video: Name: David Brent. Occupation: Inspirer. Status: None of your business ... When do I start? ibid.
Zen Office – thought of that? ibid. Nellie
I will run this branch or I will destroy this branch. ibid. Dwight
Hey, Robert, we have that 9.30 a.m. casual chit-chat scheduled. The Office US s8e1: The List, Andy
How’s the sales doubling project going? The Office US s8e2: The Incentive, Andy
You give us points and then we redeem those points for prizes. ibid. Pam
Until we have a new crew let’s get some volunteers for warehouse duty. The Office US s8e3: Lotto, Andy
It’s not a picnic, Phyllis; it’s a garden party. The Office US s8e4: Garden Party
Every Halloween I tell them the same thing: you can’t bring weapons into the office. The Office US s8e5: Spooked, Toby
Simply end the mistakes. The Office US s8e6: Doomsday, Robert to Andy
It’s one of the most common fetishes. The Office US s8e7: Pam’s Replacement, Gabe to pregnant Pam