This may be Phyllis’s only wedding ever. The Office US s3e15: Ben Franklin, Michael
Me! I want some man meat. ibid. Dwight, re Michael’s barbecue
102,944. It’s a big day for Phyllis, but it’s an even bigger day for me – employer of the bride. The Office US s3e16: Phyllis’ Wedding
A boss is like a teacher – and I am like the cool teacher. The Office US s3e17, Business School, Michael
You cannot learn from books. ibid.
Real business is done on paper. ibid.
I am taking a calculated risk. What’s the upside? I overcome my nausea … No more self-loathing … The Office US s3e18: Cocktails, Jan
I run a fake ID company … ibid. Creed
Michael, last Friday one of your employees attacked another employee in your office. The Office US s3e19: The Negotiation, Jan
Are you wearing lady-clothes? ibid. Darryl to Michael
I have decided to shun Andy for the next three years which I am looking forward to. The Office US s3e20: Safety Training, Dwight
We have a crisis. Apparently a disgruntled employee at the paper mill decided it would be funny to put an obscene watermark on our 24 pound creme butter-sock. 500 boxes has gone out. The Office US s3e21: Product Recall, Michael
When the company screws up, best thing to do is call a press conference. ibid.
If that’s flashing, then lock me up. The Office US s3e22: Women’s Appreciation, Creed
Oh come on, we were laughing at Phyllis but she’s not even here. ibid. Michael
Oscar, you’re wearing a Speedo I presume. The Office US s3e23: Beach Party, Michael
It’s a done deal. I basically have the job already. There’s nothing she can do to stop it now. I already sold my condo. The Office US s3e24&25: The Job, Michael
In my experience guys are way more attracted to the back of you than to the front. ibid. Meredith
One thousand Schrute-bucks equals an extra five minutes for lunch. ibid. Dwight
He [Michael] likes them [enhancements]. And that’s all I care about. ibid. Jan
So who is the real boss? The dog or a fish? The Office US s4e1&2: Fun Run, Michael
European offices are naked all the time. ibid.
He’s a useful cat. He killed an entire family of raccoons. The Office US s4e3&4: Dunder Mifflin Infinity, Dwight & Garbage the cat
New ideas are fine but they are also illegal. ibid. Michael
Buying paper just became fun. The Office US s4e5&6: Launch Party, Ryan
It was a pretty disappointing day. It was kind of a slap in the face to realize that I wasn’t as important as I thought I was to a certain young executive. Who I had cared about. But you know, I’m not going to cry about it. I did that on the way home. ibid. David
Michael, there’s a very big difference between these two pizza places. ibid. Oscar
You will come out when you decide to give me a discount on the pizza. ibid. Michael to pizza delivery boy
There’s only one place to get authentic New York-style sushi. ibid.
Yes, money has been a little tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I’m gonna be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money-wise. The Office US s4e7&8: Money, Michael
Come back any time. Don’t forget to disinfect your headset. ibid. marketing boss to Michael
I am itching all over with Angela pox. ibid. Andy
I’ve always wanted to be in the Witness Protection Program. ibid. Michael
I declare bankruptcy! ibid. Michael
My whole family won’t talk to me on the advice of Counsel. ibid. Jan to Michael
Dwight: Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user, virtual environment. It doesn’t have points or scores. It doesn’t have winners or losers.
Jim: Oh, it has losers. The Office US s4e9: Local Ad
I’m not really used to doing videos with so many people around. ibid. Meredith
Oscar, Toby and I are founding members of the Finer Things Club. The Office US s4e10: Branch Wars, Pam
Besides having sex with men, I would say the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing about me. ibid. Oscar
The Finer Things Club is the most exclusive club in this office. Naturally, it’s where I need to be. ibid. Andy
I keep various weapons strategically placed throughout the office. The Office US s4e11: Survivor Man, Michael to Jim
The sun is in the two-thirds easterly quadrant. ibid. Michael in forest
I don’t talk trash; I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical, like: Your mom is so fat she can eat the internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: You’re ugly and I know it for a fact ’cause I got the evidence right there. The Office US s4e12: The Deposition, Kelly
All my heroes are table tennis players. ibid. Dwight
Michael has asked Pam and me to dinner at least nine times. The Office s4e13: Dinner Party, Jim
Does it bother me that I wasn’t invited to Michael’s dinner party? [weeps] ibid. Dwight
If I get frustrated or irritated or angry I come up here I and just smell all my candles. ibid. Karen
Candles are the number one fastest growing product in the centre of the market. Two billion dollar a year industry. And for only ten thousand dollars you could become a co-owner of Serenity by Jan. ibid. Michael to Jim & Andy
Michael: When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure, who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn’t wanna have kids? Who had it reversed back? Snip snap snip snap snip snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person! And I bought this condo to fill with children!
Jan: I am so sorry that I don’t wanna bring kids into this screwed up world.
Michael: I am sorry too.
Jan: But look if you wanna have kids, then fine! You win! Let’s have a fucking kid!
Michael: Do you mean it? You wanna have a kid?
Jan: I hate my life. ibid.
I did this for the little guy. For Joe Six-pack. The guy who wakes up every morning in his $400 a month apartment, wonders how he’s going to pay his mortgage; wonders how he’s going to fill his car up with oil; wonders, How am I going to pay my kids’ orphanage bills? That guy shouldn’t have to wonder where he’s going to park. The Office US s4e14: Chair Model, Andy
All of it is happening in our virtual paper store. The Office US s4e15: Night Out, Ryan
Jungle warfare is gonna rule the world. It’s inevitable, right? ibid. Ryan to Michael
Friends joke with one another. Hey you’re poor. Hey, your momma’s dead. That’s what friends do. The Office US s4e16: Did I Stutter? Michael
Today, I am meeting a potential client on the golf course because Ryan put me on probation. You remember Ryan: he was the temp here. Yeah and, uh, it is not a good time for me to lose my job since I have some pretty big long-term plans in my personal life with Pam that I’d like her parents to be psyched about. So, I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: Try. The Office US s4e17: Job Fair, Jim