Woody Allen - Guinness World Records - Kirsty Young - Robert Frost - The Deconstructors 1974 - Catch 22 1970 - C S Lewis - Arthur Miller & Death of a Salesman 2006 - George H W Bush - Quintus Fabius Maximus - Aravind Adiga - Numbers Game: What Drives You Crazy? TV - George Bernard Shaw - Steve D Levitt & Stephen J Dubner - The Pelican Brief 1993 - Fargo TV - Panorama TV - Adam Curtis TV - The Office UK - The Office Values - David Brent: Life on the Road 2016 - The Office US - The Office: Signs of a Declining Sitcom 2019 -
Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. Woody Allen
The Pentagon in Arlington Virginia USA built to house the US Defense Department’s offices and completed in January 1943 is the world’s largest office building. Guinness World Records 2005 (50th edition)
You didn’t have to read the books to be touched by their inspirational message. Our conference rooms and open-plan offices were now echoing to the sound of management speak. Kirsty Young, The British at Work: The Age of Uncertainty 1995 – Now, BBC 2011
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost
I hate this office. Most of all I hate this desk. The Destructors aka The Marseilles Contract 1974 starring Michael Caine & Anthony Quinn & James Mason & Maurice Ronet & Alexandra Stewart & Maureen Kerwin & Catherin Rouvel & Marcel Bozzuffi et al, director Robert Parrish, Quinn to secretary
I don’t want anyone to come in and see me while I’m in my office. Catch 22 1970 Starring Alan Arkin & Martin Balsam & Richard Benjamin & Arthur Garfunkel & Jack Gilford & Anthony Perkins & Martin Sheen & Jon Voight & Orson Welles & Buck Henry & Bob Newhart & Paula Prentiss et al, director Mike Nichols, pilots' mess Yossarian, Major Major
I live in the Managerial Age, in a world of Admin. The greatest evil is not now done in those sordid ‘dens of crime’ that Dickens loved to paint. It is not done even in concentration camps and labour camps. In those we see its final result. But it is conceived and ordered (moved, seconded, carried and minuted) in clean, carpeted, warmed and well-lighted offices, by quiet men with white collars and cut fingernails and smooth-shaven cheeks who do not need to raise their voices. Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern. C S Lewis, The Screwtape Letters preface
What am I doing in an office making a contemptuous begging fool of myself? Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman 2006 starring Xavarian Dramatic Society, Warren Able Theatre starring Daniel Valez & Amanda Magnavita & Michael Longo & Michael Maldonado et al, Biff
You don’t have to go to college to be a success ... We need the people who run the offices, the people who do the hard physical work of our society. George H W Bush
To be turned from one’s course by men’s opinions, by blame, and by misrepresentation shows a man unfit to hold office. Quintus Fabius Maximus
There’s no one else in this 150-square-foot office of mine. Just me and a chandelier above me, although the chandelier has a personality of its own. It’s a huge thing, full of small diamond-shaped glass pieces, just like the ones they used to show in the films of the 1970s. Though it’s cool enough at night in Bangalore, I’ve put a midget fan – five cobwebby blades – right above the chandelier. See, when it turns, the small blades chop up the chandelier’s light and flight it across the room. Just like the strobe light at the best discos in Bangalore. This is the only 150-square-foot space in Bangalore with its own chandelier! Aravind Adiga, The White Tiger p7
Biggest pet peeve in the office: office loud talker. Numbers Game: What Drives You Crazy? 2013
A man who has no office to go to – I don't care who he is – is a trial of which you can have no conception. George Bernard Shaw
Smaller offices are more honest than big ones. Steven D Levitt & Stephen J Dubner, Freakonomics
I think I stumbled across something in the office I wasn’t supposed to see. The Pelican Brief 1993 starring Julia Roberts & Denzel Washington & Sam Shepard & John Heard & Tony Goldwyn & James B Sikking & William Atherton & Robert Culp & Stanley Tucci & Hume Cronyn et al, director Alan J Pakula, source to Grantham
Until then we demand you vacate our offices. Immediately. Fargo s3e6: The Lord of No Mercy, IRS dude ejected by company brief
With homelessness on the rise, growing numbers of people are being housed in converted office blocks. Owned by private companies, rooms are rented out, not just by councils. We go undercover to investigate the reality of life in one office block conversion. Panorama: Cashing in on the Housing Crisis, BBC 2020
But as you work in glass-walled offices you know that the targets are manipulated and fake. And the managers know that you know. But you all sit there and pretend it is objective and rational. Adam Curtis, Living in an Unreal World, BBC 2016
Don’t ever come out with me and Finchy. The Office UK: Downsize s1e1, Brent to Dawn, BBC 2001
You can’t put a price on comedy. ibid. Brent to temp
I thought I’d found a lump. ibid. Brent to Dawn
I suppose I’ve created an atmosphere where I’m a friend first and a boss second, probably entertainer third. ibid. Brent to new temp
I will not have her tunnel banded about this office willy-nilly. The Office UK: Work Experience s1e2, Brent to staff
There’s a weight of intellect behind my comedy. ibid. Brent
I am trained in covert operations. ibid. Gareth
I could catch a monkey. If I was starving I could. I’d make poison darts out of the poison of the deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Prick yourself and you’d be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different times. ibid.
What’s black and slides down Nelson’s Column? Winnie Mandela. The Office: The Quiz s1e3, Finch’s joke
I’m more sort of character-based and he’s more of a gag-man. I do gags as well. ibid. Brent
He’s a vegetable now. And that’s something we’ve all got to look forward to. ibid.
Yeah, there are limits to my comedy. ibid.
Whatever happens it won’t be a flashy wedding. Nah, yeah, just be a registry office to save money. And then what we’ll probably do is move in with me mum for a few months. Yeah, let Dawn get a few kiddies under her belt which will be nice ’cause then me mum can look after them. ibid. Lee
The thing about long-term marriage is that inevitably the sex suffers. (Office & Marriage) The Office UK: Training s1e4, Gareth
Gareth: Well then he shouldn’t be allowed near animals, should he? ibid.
Now you’ve split up with Lee, would you like to come out for a drink with me? ibid. Tim
There was, oh my God, a themed nightclub called Henry the Eighth’s. This was incredible. It had the Anne Bowl-in Alley, this is true, as you went into the loo, there was a sign that said ‘Mind Your Head’ ... And underneath someone had written ‘Don’t get your Hampton Court’. It’s not there any more. But not a day goes by that I don’t think about it. The Office UK: New Girl s1e5, Tim
Gareth: If you’re so clever, what am I thinking now?
Tim: You’re thinking, How can I kill a tiger armed only with a biro?
Tim: You’re thinking, If I crash land in a jungle will I be able to eat my own shoes?
Gareth: No. And you can’t.
Tim: What are you thinking, Gareth?
Gareth: I was just wondering whether will there ever be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark. ibid.
Well, there’s good news and bad news. The bad news is that Neil will be taking over both branches, and some of you will lose your jobs. Those of you who are kept on will have to relocate to Swindon, if you wanna stay. I know, gutting. On a more positive note, the good news is, I’ve been promoted. So, every cloud ... You’re still thinking about the bad news, aren’t you? The Office UK: Judgement s1e6, Brent
You’ve seen how I react to people, make them feel good, make them think that anything’s possible. If I make them laugh along the way, sue me. And I don’t do it so they turn round and go, ‘Thank you David for the opportunity, thank you for the wisdom, thank you for the laughs.’ I do it so one day someone will go, ‘There goes David Brent. I must remember to thank him.’ ibid. Brent
That was the forties before racism was bad. ibid. Brent to Gareth