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Cryptozoologists want you to believe that there are monsters running about in the world. And that we could find these amazing creatures if only we spent more time and money ... Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster are complete bullshit. Penn & Teller, Bullshit! s4e4: Cryptozoology, Showtime 2006
1) If there was only one monster it would have to be thousands of years old; 2) So there’d have to be two monsters. But there isn’t enough food for both of them to eat; 3) No monster remains have ever washed ashore; 4) Sonar arrays have been towed through the entire lake, and they showed no monster; 5) ... All of which could easily be mistaken for a monster; 6) No monster has ever been found in similar lakes around the world; 7) There’s no fucking thing as a fucking monster, you fucking asshole! ibid.
At Loch Ness there are bus tours and boat tours. There’s also the Loch Ness 2000 Official Exhibition Centre which features a hotel and a shop. ibid.
Loch Ness: For centuries it’s been home to one of the most enduring legends. Hundreds of eye witnesses have reported a monster moving through these waters, yet countless scientific studies have failed to find it. Philippe Cousteau, The Loch Ness Monster Revealed, Discovery Science 2015
It’s the perfect place for a monster to hide. ibid.
The Loch Ness monster is famous all over the world ... It’s a timeless brand because the monster has been around for ever. It’s a prehistoric dinosaur; it will be around for some time to come. Dr David Martin-Jones, University of St Andrews
The Loch Ness monster has a great deal to do with the international, the global, identity of Scotland. Dr David Martin-Jones
The surgeon’s photo is the icon. It is what most people see as Nessie. David Martin, freshwater zoologist
Does this film shot in 1936 show the Loch Ness monster? Did it surface once more forty-one years later, captured again by the camera? Arthur C Clarke’s Mysterious World, ITV 1980
R Kenneth Wilson snapped the most famous Loch Ness monster of them all. Also in 1934 this strange photograph – is it a flipper? And does this 1977 picture show the monster’s head and neck? ibid.
Then came the startling head, neck and flipper shots of 1975. ibid.
Here is the most unusual film of recent years. It proves the existence of a monster in Loch Ness ... We saw the grey water suddenly heave and the monster cut through them at lightning speed. Things That Happen: The Loch Ness Monster, Scottish Films Productions September 1936
More than a thousand witnesses have seen it, many taking photographs and film ... Since the 1930s there’s been an average of 13 sightings a year ... In the 1930s there were several dramatic sightings. Loch Ness Investigated
An image of Nessie was captured in what become known as the surgeon’s photo. So called because it was supposedly taken by respected surgeon Robert Wilson ... It established the Loch Ness monster as a world-wide phenomenon. The picture clearly showed the head and neck of a creature emerging from the waters of Loch Ness. ibid.
Minimal algae means there’s little food for the microscopic zoo-plankton to eat. This in turn means less food for small fish. And thus less food for any large predators. Nessie can’t be the only one of its kind. The monster population must be large enough to breed generation to generation. ibid.
The biggest sonar sweep on the Loch failed to find any real evidence of large creatures, and yet the sightings continue. ibid.
But there’s one film of a wake on the Loch that’s confounded even the sceptics for over forty years: the so-called Dinsdale Film, named after the man who took it, is still regarded by some as the best film evidence of a prehistoric monster in Loch Ness ... It took forty years to solve this mystery, and science is continually re-evaluating other evidence of the monster’s existence. ibid.
The famous 1955 McNabb photograph may simply show the wake of a boat long gone from the picture. ibid.
The so-called surgeon’s photo. In the 1930s the surgeon’s photo caused a sensation. Not only did it seem to prove Nessie existed, it came from an impeccable source, a much-respected doctor. But the true story behind this picture is one of greed, deceit and a desire for revenge. ibid.
Many eye-witness sightings may well be the result of animals swimming, boat wakes, large fish, or logs. Yet the legend has persisted for year after year. ibid.
The footage [in 1936] was shot by a start-up newsreel company hoping to create a monthly series for use in movie-theaters. They needed publicity and might have been inspired by the public reaction to this incredible picture shot two years earlier in 1934. Attributed to a respected surgeon it was considered proof for sixty years that a monster inhabited the murky waters of Loch Ness. But in 1994 that photo was ultimately revealed as a hoax in a stunning death-bed confession by one of those responsible. The World’s Greatest Hoaxes, 1998
I saw the back of an animal; it was like the back of an elephant. And it was at least twenty-five feet. Dr Robert Rines, MIT
Suddenly I saw this colossal great hump about sixty or seventy feet long. Winifred Carey, interview Unexplained Mysteries, 2004
It was like a whale. It was black. You could see the water running off its back as it came out ... I saw a very large creature, living creature, for sure. Alastair Boyd
It was a large dark hump possibly about eight to ten feet long, about four feet out of the water. It was dark in colour. Roland O’Brien
Nessie sightings date back to the sixth century. Unexplained Mysteries, 2004
The first recorded sighting of the Loch Ness Monster occurred in the sixth century ... But it wasn’t until the string of sightings in the 1930s that Nessie hunting began in earnest. Paranormal? Lake Monsters
In 1970 came the American invasion led by Dr Robert Rines and a team of scientists from the Academy of Applied Science. Using new side-scan sonar technology they reported readings which indicated underwater life-forms ten to fifty times bigger than any known fish in the Loch. Rines would also release these contentious computer-enhanced photos. ibid.
Then came the confession that shocked the lake-monster world. For sixty years the Surgeon’s photo of the Loch Ness monster had stood the test of time. Then in 1992 a man named Christian Spurling made a shocking revelation. ibid.
What I think it is is a giant eel. Richard Freeman, The Centre for Fortean Zoology
How can Loch Ness have a thirty-foot-long eel in it? Dr Scott McNaught, Professor of Lake Biology, Central Michigan University
An ancient creature remains at large embedded deep within Scottish folklore. Sightings seem to defy scientific explanation. The Truth Behind s2e1: Loch Ness, 2011
Some believers speculate that the elusive creature is a plesiosaur. ibid.
There have been over 10,000 reported sightings of the Loch Ness Monster, and numerous search attempts. ibid.
Many in the scientific community have dismissed eye witness reports as unreliable. ibid.
1977: A Japanese trawler fishing off the coast of New Zealand netted the carcass of an unidentified animal. ibid.
To be a serious contender it would have to be a monster sturgeon. ibid.
Amongst these new discoveries is the mega-mouth shark. ibid.
The polygraph tests results suggest that the eye witnesses believe that they have seen the Loch Ness Monster. But this does not prove that it exists. ibid.