Confederate Family Insurance: For over 100 years protecting a people and their property. CSA: Confederate States of America 2004 starring Rupert Pate & Evamarii Johnson & Larry Peterson & Charles Frank et al, director Kevin Willmott
The principal founding fathers were all southern. ibid. black woman
Slaves must have been pretty important then, huh. ibid. kid
And in a matter of months southern troops took the nation’s capital, capturing the White House. But there was no sign of President Lincoln. ibid. commentary
The victory was cause for grand celebration. Plantations throughout the south were the centres of jubilant parties welcoming back the troops. ibid.
The Christian Reform Act of 1895 outlawed any religion not based on Christianity. After much debate it was decided the Catholic church would be considered Christian. But the Jews would be asked to leave. ibid.
Kill ’em all and let God sort ’em out. ibid. soldier
Hitler returned the visit in 1935 touring the boroughs of New York City. ibid. commentary
I Married an Abolitionist 1955. ibid. film
Women would not get the vote. ibid. black woman
The Slave Shopping Network. ibid.
A hoax email: so we’ve got a group known for perpetrating stunts and here we have our vaulted and respected state-controlled media falling for it without even checking it out. The Yes Men, opening commentary, 2003
In reality the US Chamber of Commerce is a large corporation that is reported to lie to the public on behalf of even bigger corporations. ibid.
Their plans are to prevent us from passing climate-change legislation. ibid.
What we do is pass ourselves off as representatives of big corporations we don’t like. We make fake websites then wait for people to accidentally invite us to conferences. ibid.
We’re meant to be shocking not ‘refreshingly honest’. ibid. presentation to executives
Dow accepts responsibility for Bhopal. ibid.
Totally worth it. ibid. Indian Bhopal trust dude
Dow’s stock lost over $2 billion in 23 minutes. ibid. trader
Exxon’s new biofuel made from the victims of climate change. And he’d even hand out a sample. ibid.
The Survivaball is able to withstand. ibid.
We’d made a splash but we hadn’t fixed the world. ibid.
It’s a dream newspaper. ibid. reader of free New York Times
On December 1st 1935 Mrs William Starkwell, the wife of a New Jersey handyman, gives birth to her first and only child. It is a boy and they name it Virgil. He is an exceptionally cute baby with a sweet disposition. Before he is 25 years old he will be wanted by police in six states for assault, armed robbery and illegal possession of a wart. Take the Money and Run 1969 starring Woody Allen & Janet Margolin & Marcel Hillaire & Jacquelyn Hyde & Lonny Chapman & Jan Merlin & James Anderson & Howard Sotm & Mark Gordon & Micil Murphy et al, director Woody Allen
Spending most of his time on the streets, Virgil takes to crime at an early age. He is an immediate failure. ibid.
Virgil steals to pay for Cello lessons. ibid.
Virgil submits to the vaccine test. It is a success. Except for one temporary side effect. For several hours he is turned into a rabbi. ibid.
How did it happen? ibid. him to her
Virgil complains and he is severely tortured: for several days he is locked in a sweat-box with an insurance salesman. ibid.
Take the Money and Run was an early pseudo-documentary. The idea of doing a documentary, which I later finally perfected when I did Zelig was with me from the first day I started movies. I thought that was an ideal vehicle for doing comedy, because the documentary format was very serious, so you were immediately operating in an area where any little thing you did upset the seriousness and was thereby funny. And you could tell your story laugh by laugh by laugh …The object of the movie was for every inch of it to be a laugh. Woody Allen, cited Richard Schickel ‘Woody Allen: A Life in Film’
He was the phenomenon of the 1920s. We think at that time he was as well known as Lindbergh – it’s really quite astonishing. Zelig 1983 starring Woody Allen & Mia Farrow & Patrick Horgan & John Buckwalter & Susan Sontag & Saul Bellow & Bruno Bettelheim & Irving Howe & John Morton Blum & Ada Bricktop Smith et al, director Woody Allen
He spoke adoringly of Coolidge and the Republican Party all in an upper-class Boston accent. ibid.
On his deathbed Maurice Zelig tells his son that life is a meaningless nightmare of suffering and the only advice he gives him is to save string. ibid.
You just told the truth and it sold papers: it had never happened before. ibid. journalist
Not everyone however was entranced with the human chameleon. ibid.
The question of whether Zelig was a psychotic or merely extremely neurotic was a question that was endlessly discussed among his doctors. Now I myself felt his feelings were really not all that different from the normal, what one would call the well-adjusted, normal person, only carried to an extreme degree, to an extreme extent. I myself felt that one could really think of him as the ultimate conformist. ibid. doctor
I have this masturbation class. If I’m not there they start without me. ibid. Zelig as psychiatrist
I used to be a member of the reptile family but I’m not any more. ibid.
‘Vets hit them with planks.’ Brass Eye s1e1: Animals, dinner party, Channel 4 1997
The cow is fired through the air and lands in a crunched bone-heap. ibid. foreign report
In Zaragoza the streets still get crazy with the annual running of the wasp. ibid.
The late-night streets of Britain now so full of drugs not even the dealers know them all: ‘… Have you got the triple sub? … Yellow Bentines …’ Brass Eye s1e2: Drugs
‘I’ll give you thirty quid for one clerky cat. ibid.
Is it legal to carry drugs if you’re not actually touching them? ibid.
It’s also legal to buy and sell drugs if you do it through a mandrill. ibid.
A new legal drug from Czechoslovakia called Cake. ibid.
It stimulates the part of the brain called Shatner’s Basoon. ibid.
We’re looking tonight at the appalling hazards of irresponsible weapons research. Brass Eye s1e3: Science
Tonight on Brass Eye – has science gone too far? ibid.
Is it right for scientists to play with Time? ibid.
Cloud-damage is dramatically on the increase. ibid.
What can be done to keep bad science at bay? All too often it’s left to the little people. ibid.
Bono offers sex to ‘anyone from the former Yugoslavia’. Brass Eye s1e4: Sex, The Times headline
Sex is a sumptuous gland-babe in a hall of donkeys or a sordid little incubus that looks like your granny? ibid.
UK used to mean United Kingdom but ask anyone today and they’ll tell you it stands for Unbelievable Crimewave. Brass Eye s1e5: Crime
‘Crimes we know nothing about are going up as well.’ ibid.
Bring back borstal. ibid.
Tonight on Brass Eye – are we in a state of irreversible decline? Brass Eye s1e6: Decline
What is the true state of Britain? ibid.
The company’s used drugs to improve its performance for the past seventeen years. ibid.
These are our children. They skip down our streets. But the paedophile is waiting. Even our most drastic measures don’t work. Brass Eye Special s1e7: Paedogeddon!
The Paedo-Files starts next week on 4. ibid.
Just Kidding Tours. ibid.
Why are no paedophiles black? ibid.