Well, Ted, Biker Grove. Father Ted: The Plague s2e6, Dougal & Ted watch television
The Pope closed down a lot of the factories that were making the potatoes and turned them into prisons for children. Father Ted s2e7: Rock-a-Hula Ted, pop star on TV
She seems to be taking the whole Catholic thing a bit seriously, Ted. I mean, it’s just a bit of a laugh. ibid. Dougal
Ted: Men don’t wear perfume.
Dougal: Except Father Bigley. ibid.
Ted, I’m off roller-blading. Father Ted 2e8: Cigarettes & Alcohol & Rollerblading, Dougal
And that’s what this is – a giving things up competition. ibid. Ted
I’m not even thinking about smoking. ibid.
Mrs Doyle: They were a bit obsessed with the old S-E-X. God, I’m glad I never think of that type of thing, Father. That whole sexual world. God, when you think of it it’s a dirty filthy thing, isn’t it, Father? Can you imagine, Father: looking up at your husband and him standing over you with his lad in his hand wanting you to degrade yourself. God almighty, can you imagine that, Father? Can you picture there, Father? ibid.
Ted: The poor really got on his nerves.
Dougal: And the needy. Father Ted s2e9: New Jack City, re Jack
We’re going to kidnap Jack from Saint Clabbert’s. ibid. Ted
Dougal: It must be the holiest shrine in the world.
Ted: Top ten anyway. Father Ted s2e10: Flight Into Terror
Father Fluffy Bottom. ibid. Ted’s nickname
What’s it all about, Dougal? No, Dougal. I mean Life. Father Ted Christmas Special: A Christmassy Ted, Ted
We have eight priests hanging around the lingerie section … We’re talking national scandal. ibid.
Funny how you get more right wing as you get older. Father Ted s3e1: Are You All Right There Father Ted? Ted to Nazi priest
Ted: There’s a G in Dougal.
Dougal: Where? ibid.
There’s a Chinatown in Craggy Island? ibid.
I hear you’re a racist now, Father? ibid. Coln
Fascists dress in black and go round telling people what to do. ibid.
King of the Sheep ’98. Father Ted s3e2: Chirpy Burpy Cheap Sheep, sheep competition
Take me to see Chris, the unhappy sheep. ibid. Ted
Milk depot manager: You are after all a man of God.
Dougal: A what? Father Ted s3e3: Speed 3
God, I love saying Mass. ibid. Priest
And I’m good at being a Priest. Ted, it’s scary out there in the real non-Priest world. ibid. Dougal
Those women were in the nip! ibid. Dougal with light on
I’m so happy: the sun’s out, and we’re in an optician’s – it doesn’t get any better than this. Father Ted s3e4: The Mainland, Dougal
Drink! ibid. Father Jack at AA
There’s nothing stupid about football. And there’s nothing at all stupid about the Annual All Priests Five-a-Side Over-Seventy-Fives Indoor Football Challenge Match against Rugged Island. Father Ted s3e5: Escape From Victory, Dougal
There was a time when the over-seventy-fives put their heart into it. ibid. Ted
Does that coffin have a fax machine in it? ibid. Ted
A load of men kicking a bit of leather round a field. ibid. Mrs Doyle
Kick Bishop Brennan up the arse … I lost the bet, Dougal. Father Ted s3e6: Kicking Bishop Brennan Up the Arse, Ted’s challenge
Ted: I like this parish.
Dougal: Do you?
Ted: Well no. ibid.
Have you heard about the mystery of the mud angel? ibid. Dougal
He did kick me up the arse! ibid. Bishop Brennan
Your poem was actually worse than Mrs Doyle’s. Father Ted s3e7: Night of the Nearly Dead, Dougal to Ted
Drink. Feck. Arse. Girls. ibid. Father Jack
To be honest I couldn’t give a toss. Father Ted s3e8: Going to America, Ted
It’s a competitive market: you’ll be up against Billy Graham and those Nation of Islam guys. ibid. Buzz
It says 1990 on it so that means we must have written it here. Small, Far Away: The World of Father Ted, Arthur Mathews co-writer, Channel 4 2011
Father Ted started off it wasn’t a sitcom about Ted at all, it was a documentary series. ibid. Graham Linehan, co-writer
People will say you look like Dougal. ibid. Ardal O’Hanlon
Once you put on the gear, I become Dougal. ibid.
‘Heather Mills: she did become Public Enemy No. 1.’ The Trials of Heather Mills, woman, Channel 5 2023
‘The fact that she called all these journalists round. That was when she made a pact with the devil.’ ibid.
‘What had she done wrong? What was her crime?’ ibid.
‘She becomes this hysterical figure. The whole thing spirals.’ ibid. caption
2007: Heather Mills is in the eye of a media storm … After months of bad press, Heather decided to speak out. ibid.