APPENDIX A: THE MURDEROUS MISADVENTURES OF ELOHIM
1. And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Genesis 3:15
Why is God putting enmity between women and snakes? Weird. If God is addressing the snake as the devil, who are the devil’s seed?
A kind of conjuring trick of taking a rib out of a man’s side in a trance. David Attenborough, televised interview
2. And the Lord said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them. Genesis 6:7
The problem with a 450-foot boat made of wood is that the wood as the material cannot maintain the shape of the boat, and the boat would start to distort at sea, seams would open up and it would sink. Tom Vosner, marine archaeologist
And digging deeper into the text there are even more discrepancies ... There are two complete versions of the Flood story interwoven on the same page. Bible’s Buried Secrets
3. Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech. Genesis 11:7
Tell a devout Christian that his wife is cheating on him, or that frozen yoghurt can make a man invisible, and he is likely to require as much evidence as anyone else, and to be persuaded only to the extent that you give it. Tell him that the book he keeps by his bed was written by an invisible deity who will punish him with fire for eternity if he fails to accept its every incredible claim about the universe, and he seems to require no evidence whatsoever. Sam Harris
4. And the Lord plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram’s wife. Genesis 12:17
The further back you go in the Biblical texts the more difficult it is to find historical material in it. The patriarchs go back to Genesis. Genesis is for the most part a compilation of myths, creation stories, things like that, and to find an historical core is very difficult. David Ilan, Hebrew Union College Jerusalem
5. And the Lord rained upon Sodom & upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven (v24); And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground (v25). But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt (v26). Genesis 19
What happened in Gomorrah stayed in Gomorrah. That is until God got wind of it. Bill Maher, Religulous
6. And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of. Genesis 22:2
The work of rereading the Old Testament is something tiring but always necessary, because as one proceeds there begin to occur some sinister premonitions. Abraham — another ancestor of all monotheism — is ready to make a human sacrifice of his own firstborn. Christopher Hitchens, God is Not Great p109
God was only joking after all. Tempting Abraham and testing his faith. A modern moralist cannot help but wonder how a child could ever recover from such psychological trauma. Professor Richard Dawkins, lecture The God Delusion, Lynchburg Virginia
7. And Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and the Lord slew him ... And the thing which he [Onan] did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also. Genesis 38:7&10
I’ve been in the Bible every day since I’ve been the president. George W Bush, 12 November 2008
8. And I will stretch out my hand, and smite Egypt with all my wonders which I will do in the midst thereof: and after that he will let you go. Exodus 3:20
My intention is to show that those books are spurious, and that Moses is not the author of them; and still further, that they were not written in the time of Moses, not till several hundred years afterwards. Thomas Paine, Age of Reason II
9. And it came to pass by the way in the inn, that the Lord met him [Moses], and sought to kill him. Exodus 4:24
10. For he [Moses] said, Because the Lord hath sworn that the Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation. Exodus 17:16
If he’d [Martin Luther King] really be invoking the lessons of Genesis and Exodus he would have been saying that his people have the right to kill anyone who stood in their way, to exterminate all other tribes, to mutilate their children’s genitalia, to make slaves of those they captured, to take the land and property of others, to engage in rather long and hideous and elaborate arguments about ox-goring and ... should not suffer a witch to live. Christopher Hitchens v Reverend Al Sharpton
11. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Exodus 20:3
Then there is the very salient question of what the commandments do not say. Is it too modern to notice that there is nothing about the protection of children from cruelty, nothing about rape, nothing about slavery, and nothing about genocide? Christopher Hitchens, God is Not Great p100
12. Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. Exodus 22:18
This was, for centuries, the warrant for the Christian torture and burning of women who did not conform. Christopher Hitchens ibid. p101
13. Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may wax hot against them, and that I may consume them: and I will make of thee a great nation. Exodus 32:10
14. And he [Moses] said unto them, Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, Put every man his sword by his side, and go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbour. Exodus 32:27
15. And I will send an angel before thee; and I will drive out the Canaanite, the Amorite, and the Hittite, and the Perizzite, the Hivite, and the Jebusite: Exodus 33:2
There was no evidence of armed conflict in most of these sites. At the same time it was discovered that most the large Canaanite towns that were supposed to have been destroyed by these Israelites were either not destroyed at all or destroyed by others. William G Dever, University of Arizona
16. Six days shall work be done, but on the seventh day there shall be to you an holy day, a sabbath of rest to the Lord: whosoever doeth work therein shall be put to death. Exodus 35:2
17. And there went out fire from the Lord, and devoured them, and they died before the Lord. Leviticus 10:2
18. When ye be come into the land of Canaan, which I give to you for a possession, and I put the plague of leprosy in a house of the land of your possession. Leviticus 14:34
19. I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it ... And I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies: they that hate you shall reign over you; and ye shall flee when none pursueth you. Leviticus 26:16&17