Top 5 Products I Might Have Brought if it Wasn't for the Annoying Tit Selling Them: Safestyle Windows [git with mullet] ... Frosties [very annoying singing child] ... Coke Zero [crowd led by moron] ... Credit Expert [lack of sensitivity] ... Starburst [mad Tudor person begging sweets singing ‘Berries and Cream’. ibid.
What Not to Wear: Mr Beaujangles [stores in Aberdeen, Edinburgh, Kirkcaldy, Dundee] ... Star Wars Underoos [children in underwear] ... ICI Fibres: ‘The new way to dress. His suits tailored with flair. In terylene’ ... ‘In crimplene for men’ ... 'The new way to dress: Images of the new way to dress in ICI fibres’. ibid.
Things Women Don’t Like to Talk About in Front Of Men: Messenger: [two women walking on beach] ‘Mum, I've got to ask you something real personal: do you douch?’ ... Pristeen: Feminine Hygiene Spray ... Uresta: Incontinence ... Dulcoease: Consistency of stools. ibid.
Things Men Don’t Like to Talk About in Front of Women: Erectile Dysfunction. Erectile Dysfunction Awareness [Pele in football stadium: ‘But one thing was never discussed – erection problems ... Because millions of men have got it now ... Get more information. I would’. Viagra. Everyman [testicular cancer: all men displaying dangling, swollen plastic testes]. ibid.
Early Public Information Film: ‘A prime example of one major category are the so-called Girlie Magazines. Which sell over fifteen million copies a month ... For the sake of decency in this film, we have partially covered the pictures and disguised the identity of the models ... Such is this appeal to the sodomist ... The preoccupation with the female breast, to the point where it has become a fetish. And this one with its overtones of ... bestiality.’ ibid.
Early Public Information Film: ‘No matter where you meet a stranger be careful if they are too friendly. One never knows when a homosexual is about ... What Jimmy did not know is that Ralph is sick. A sickness that is not visible like smallpox, but no less dangerous and contagious. A sickness of the mind. You see, Ralph was a homosexual.’ ibid. 'Boys Beware'
Clint Eastwood: ‘See this cute little vial here: it's crack. Rock cocaine. The most addictive form. You think it's the glamour drug of the eighties ... If you’ve got to die for something, this sure ain’t it.’ ibid. ‘Just Say No’
‘I had a dog. He smoked. He’s dead.’ ibid. American Cancer Society
Top 3 Badly Named Products: Gaylord [crawling barking plastic dog] ... Ayds: [miracle diet pill] ‘Thank goodness for Ayds’ ... Ball Buster [family game] ‘And for adults it’s exciting’. ibid.
Fragrance Ads That Stink: Mandom [Charles Bronson promotes Japanese after-shave] ... 007: ‘The Licence To Kill Women’ ... Hai Karate: ‘Be careful how you use it’ ... Tabu: The Forbidden Fragrance ... ibid.
Disappointing Dolls: Quick Curl Barbie: ‘Put a moustache on Ken, and make-believe he’s the bad guy. Or sideburns. And play he’s the hero’ ... Leggy: ‘And you'll like to show her legs’ ... The Bionic Woman ... GI Joe Kung Fu Grip: ‘GI Joe with Kung Fu grip. The hands that grip’ ... Magic Potty Baby ... Baby Wee Wee ... ibid.
Incredible Health and Beauty Products: Slim-Suit ... Treadmobile ... The Shake Weight: ‘Our arms are the problem areas’ ... ibid.
Worst Children’s Toy Awards: Swingwing ... Intellivision ... Mice Hockey ... Mystery Date ... Inchworm ... Loop-A-Lot. ibid.
Sports Stars Who Should Have Stuck to Their Day Job: C&A: Sebastian Coe ... T J Hughes [Wayne Rooney's brother Graham] ... Peter Schmeichel: Danepack ... Fight Against Drugs: Gary Lineker ... ibid.
Car Ads Crash ... Volvo: ‘If your wife won't let you buy a Volvo, let her drive one; that’ll really do the job. Once she gets the feel of it’ … ibid.
Barking Mad Ads: Pootrap: ‘It’s easy to install on your dog. And makes your walking experience fun’ ... Poop-Freeze ... ibid.
When Smoking Ads Lit Up the Screen: Lucky Strike: ‘Fresh taste and unforgettable ... The honest taste of Lucky Strike’ ... Camel: ‘Time out for many men of medicine usually means just long enough to enjoy a cigarette. They’re particular about the brand they choose ... Once again the brand named most was Camel. More doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette’ ... ibid.
No 1 Awfully Goodest Moment: ‘I’ve flown with US Airlines. And the girls are really nice. And those beautiful far eastern girls do splendid things with rice. German girls are so correct and the planes are never late. But there’s only one girl we want to see as we reach the departure gate: I wish they all could be ... Caledonian Girls.’ ibid.
Transforming a brand into a socially responsible leader doesn’t happen overnight by simply writing new marketing and advertising strategies. It takes effort to identify a vision that your customers will find credible and aligned with their values. Simon Mainwaring
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. Mark Twain
Advertising is the greatest art form of the 20th century. Marshall McLuhan
Advertising is legalised lying. H G Wells
Much of the messy advertising you see on television today is the product of committees. Committees can criticize advertisements, but they should never be allowed to create them. David Ogilvy
There isn’t any significant difference between the various brands of whiskey, or cigarettes or beer. They are all about the same. And so are the cake mixes and the detergents, and the margarine ... The manufacturer who dedicates his advertising to building the most sharply defined personality for his brand will get the largest share of the market at the highest profit. David Ogilvy
Advertising is a racket, like the movies and the brokerage business. You cannot be honest without admitting that its constructive contribution to humanity is exactly minus zero. F Scott Fitzgerald
Mass demand has been created almost entirely through the development of advertising. Calvin Coolidge
I can not think of any circumstances in which advertising would not be an evil. Arnold J Toynbee
It is pretty obvious that the debasement of the human mind caused by a constant flow of fraudulent advertising is no trivial thing. There is more than one way to conquer a country. Raymond Chandler
We do not invest in advertising ... So racing is the best advertising for Ferrari. Luca Cordero di Montezemolo
Advertising is the very essence of democracy. Anton Chekhov
History will see advertising as one of the real evil things of our time. It is stimulating people constantly to want things, want this, want that. Malcolm Muggeridge
There are huge advertising budgets only when there’s no difference between the products. If the products really were different, people would buy the one that’s better. Advertising teaches people not to trust their judgment. Advertising teaches people to be stupid. Carl Sagan, Contact
The art of advertisement, after the American manner, has introduced into all our life such a lavish use of superlatives, that no standard of value whatever is intact. Wyndham Lewis, Doom of Youth
It is sometimes argued that advertising really does little harm because no one believes it any more anyway. We consider this view to be erroneous. The greatest damage done by advertising is precisely that it incessantly demonstrates the prostitution of men and women who lend their intellects, their voices, their artistic skills to purposes in which they themselves do not believe, and that it teaches [in the words of Leo Marx] ‘the essential meaninglessness of all creations of the mind: words, images, and ideas.’ The real danger from advertising is that it helps to shatter and ultimately destroy our most precious non-material possessions: the confidence in the existence of meaningful purposes of human activity and respect for the integrity of man. Paul Baran & Paul Sweezy, 1964
The rich philistinism emanating from advertisements is due not to their exaggerating (or inventing) the glory of this or that serviceable article but to suggesting that the acme of human happiness is purchasable and that its purchase somehow ennobles the purchaser. Vladimir Nabokov
Living in age of advertisement, we are perpetually disillusioned. The perfect life is spread before us every day, but it changes and withers at a touch. J B Priestley, The Disillusioned, 1929
The only people who care about advertising are the people who work in advertising. George Parker
Outright Terror: Bold & Brilliant. Advertisement poster on side of bus at 7/7 bombsite
Nothing was taboo for Benetton’s ads campaigns. The 90s: The Decade That Connected Us s1e5: Exposed, National Geographic 2014
Seeing by Wireless – Inventor of apparatus wishes to hear from someone who will assist (not financially) in making working model – Write Box S.686, The Times, E.C.4. The Genius of Invention IV: Visual Image, citing Baird’s advert in The Times
They’ve exploited our anxieties to sell everything from cars to soap to the secret of eternal youth. Jacques Peretti, The Men Who Made Us Spend II, BBC 2014
This notion of soothing our fears has almost endless potential to get us to spend. ibid.
We’re obsessed with Statins and Cholesterol. ibid.
A new word has entered the lexicon – antibacterial. ibid.
If fear could be invoked to sell us flavoured water, anything seemed possible. ibid.