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Red Dwarf (TV): see Science Fiction & Science Fiction Films & Star Trek & Science & Films & GBH Films & Fantasy Films & Literature & Universe & Astronomy & UFO & Cosmology & Aliens & Ancient Astronaut Theory & Story & Tale & Teleportation

Red Dwarf, BBC from 1988

 

23,783.  All this maintenance business – the only reason they don’t give this job to the service robots is they’ve got a better union than us.  (Science Fiction & Trade Union)  Red Dwarf: The End s1e1, Lister to Rimmer

 

23,784.  Holly tells me he’s sensed a non-human life-form aboard.  ibid.  captain to crew

 

23,785.  Everybody’s dead, Dave.  (Science Fiction & Death)  ibid.  Holly

 

23,786.  Death?  It’s like being on holiday with a group of Germans.  (Science Fiction & Death)  ibid.  Rimmer to Lister

 

23,787.  During the radioactive crisis, Dave, your cat and her kittens were safely sealed in the hold; they’ve been safely breeding there for three million years and evolved into the life-form you’ve just seen in the corridor.  (Science Fiction & Cat)  ibid.  Holly

 

 

23,788.  I am Holly, the ship’s computer, with an IQ of 6,000.  The same IQ as 6,000 PE teachers.  (Science Fiction & Computer)  Red Dwarf: Future Echoes s1e2

 

23,789.  I can’t cope – we’re going at the speed of light - me bottle’s gone.  (Science Fiction & Light)  ibid.  Holly

 

23,790.  I’ve never read ... a book.  (Science Fiction & Book)  ibid.  Lister to Rimmer

 

 

23,791.  In the three million years we have been away it is my fond hope that mankind has abolished war, cured all disease, and got rid of those little western saloon doors you get in trendy clothes shops.  (Science Fiction & Doors)  Red Dwarf: Balance of Power s1e3, Holly

 

2,107.  Generally slob around.  Have a few laughs.  (Life’s Like That & Science Fiction)  ibid.  Lister’s plan

 

 

23,792.  If there’s no-one out there, what is the point in existence?  Why are we here?  (Science Fiction & Meaning of Life)  Red Dwarf: Waiting for God s1e4, Rimmer to Lister

 

23,793.  If you’re God, why that face?  ibid.  Cat to Lister

 

 

23,794.  We have been travelling through the galaxy now for three million years and there are many things we’ve discovered.  The highest form of life in the universe is man, and the lowest is a man who works for the Post Office.  (Science Fiction & Life)  Red Dwarf: Confidence and Paranoia s1e5, Holly

 

23,795.  Do you know what the worst book ever written ever was?  Football: It’s a Funny Old Game by Kevin Keegan.  (Science Fiction & Book & Football)  ibid.  Holly

 

 

23,796.  We have enough food to last thirty thousand years, but we’ve only got one After Eight mint left.  And everyone’s too polite to take it.  (Science Fiction & Food)  Red Dwarf: Me Squared s1e6, Holly

 

23,797.  I’ve got a final demand for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.  April fool.  ibid.  Holly

 

 

23,798.  Additional: as the days go by we face the increasing inevitability that we are alone in a godless uninhabited hostile and meaningless universe.  Still, you’ve got to laugh, haven’t you.  (Science Fiction & Life & Life’s Like That & Universe)  Red Dwarf II: Kryten s2e1

 

23,799.  I’m Kryten.  I’m the service mechanoid aboard the Nova Five.  We’ve had a terrible accident.  (Science Fiction & Robot)  ibid.  

 

23,800.  Holly:  We’re a bit short on a few supplies.

 

Lister:  Like what?

 

Holly:  Cow’s milk.  Ran out of that yonks ago.  Fresh and dehydrated.

 

Lister:  What kind of milk are we using now?

 

Holly:  Emergency back-up supply.  We’re on the dog’s milk.

 

Lister:  Dog’s milk?!

 

Holly:  Nothing wrong with dog’s milk.  Full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly.  Lasts longer than any other type of milk, dog’s milk.

 

Lister:  Why?

 

Holly:  No bugger’ll drink it.  Plus, of course, the advantage of dog’s milk is that when it goes off, it tastes exactly the same as when it’s fresh.

 

Lister:  Why didn’t you tell me, Holly?

 

Holly:  What, and spoil your tea?  (Science Fiction & Milk)  ibid.

 

23,801.  Your nickname was never Ace.  Maybe Ace-hole.  ibid.  Lister

 

 

23,802.  Loneliness weighs heavy on us all.  Personally, the only thing that keeps me going is the thought that we are over sixty billion miles away from the nearest Berni Inn.  (Science Fiction & Loneliness)  Red Dwarf II: Better Than Life s2e2, computer intro

 

23,803.  The post-pod’s arrived.  It’s been tracking us since we left and now we’ve turned round it’s caught up.  Yes, that’s about average for second-class post.  (Science Fiction & Post)  ibid.  computer

 

23,804.  Cat:  I’m so hungry.  I just have to eat!

 

Lister:  Shh! ... Rimmer’s dad’s died.

 

Cat:  I’d prefer chicken.  (Science Fiction & Food)  ibid.

 

 

23,805.  Additional: supplies are plentiful.  We have enough food and drink to last 30,000 years.  Although we have run out of Shake n Vac.  Red Dwarf II: Thanks for the Memory s2e3, Holly

 

23,806.  There’s a perfectly logical explanation for everything, with the possible exception of Little Jimmy Osmond.  (Science Fiction & Explanation)  ibid.

 

23,807.  I was an orphan.  Even though my parents were alive.  (Science Fiction & Parents)  ibid.  Rimmer

 

 

23,808.  On the journey back to Earth we have encountered many strange and bizarre things: only last month we came across a moon which was shaped exactly like Felicity Kendall’s bottom.  We flew around that one a couple of times.  Red Dwarf II: Stasis Leak s2e4, Holly

 

23,809.  I am the nearest thing you can get to infallible.  ibid.  Holly

 

23,810.  I loved that lemming.  I build him a little wall so he could throw himself off.  ibid.  Rimmer

 

23,811.  I was in love once: a Sinclair ZX-81.  (Science Fiction & Computer)  ibid.  Holly

 

 

23,812.  Our greatest enemy is going space-crazy through loneliness.  The only thing that helps me maintain my slender grip on reality is the friendship I share my collection of singing potatoes.  (Science Fiction & Loneliness)  Red Dwarf II: Queeg s2e5, Holly

 

23,813.  I am Queeg Six.  The Red Dwarf back-up computer.  (Science Fiction & Computer)  ibid.  Queeg Six to crew

 

23,814.  That’s a load of Tottenham, that is.  A steaming pile of Hotspurs.  ibid.  Holly  

 

 

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